Flawed Leadership

I mess up all the time. I'm human after all. The question is will I seek forgiveness and relief from the consequences of my mistakes or will I seek true repentance? Alleviation from guilt is much different than embracing the consequences and seeking an attitude and thought change. Who will I choose to be?

Ponderings from the Week

Over the last two week with round after round of talking with perspective employers, I am confident in saying that I’m beat. I’ve had good conversations, alright conversations, and the occasional horribly awkward ones. Behind each progressive conversation there has always been an undertone of superficiality. What can I say to have them hire me? How do I best accentuate my skills and talents? Even the great conversations I’ve had have been tainted with a sense of evaluation and judgment from both ends.

After a week of living in such a mind set, it is easy to carry that attitude into all aspects of my life. There is this constant evaluation of other people. We begin to compare our qualities and worth to the resume of the person next to us. Are we smarter than them? More popular? Better looking? Earn more money? I mean isn’t this the way society assigns worth to someone? By the contributions they can make to society.

I believe that we all have intrinsic worth, that our value is not evaluated by how much we can contribute to God’s kingdom. Nonetheless, I also believe that God did not endow everyone with the same means or ability. And, further more, our performances are evaluated by our utilization of these skills, abilities, and resources. Unfortunately, so much of the time, the people who are blessed the most, perform the worst. Sure, they make the money, develop the technology, and receive much accolade, but how have they used their resources for God’s kingdom? That’s where I stand at this point in time. Just like the last few days, I’m wandering around from booth to booth trying to figure where I am going to focus my energy and talent. Will I choose to invest God’s talents or spend them for my own life? Sometimes in the drowning noise of this world, God’s still voice is hard to hear. We really have to listen intently and intentionally if we ever hope to live by God’s way and not our own.

God has already blessed me with a college education, money in my pocket, good health, and many good friends. I only pray and hope that at the end of my life, I will have something to show God for what he has so graciously and lovingly blessed me with. This is the desire of my heart. We certainly don’t earn God’s love. God freely invests his love in our lives so that it may increase and be generously shared through our obedient surrender. May glory be to God forever and ever.

Two Observations on Relationships

So, I have been thinking about relationships recently. Actually, I have thought about relationships for over three years now. Especially now, however, as I have approached the beginning of the rest of my life. You start thinking about the person you will spend that time with. God has certainly kept me too busy to really worry too much about romantic interest. Nonetheless, through the instances where I have had to encounter issues surrounding my emotions and desires, God has certainly taught me much (and I still have a lot to learn).I was raised with a lot of blinders on as a child. My parents never talked about “those things” when I was a child and I focused intently on my studies. I certainly do not claim to be an expert on relationships. However, I’ve come up with my two observations on relationships:

1) We do not take relationships seriously enough.
I firmly hold to the belief that the end product of dating is marriage. Many people do not realize that the emotion, spiritual, and physical connections we form slowly binds our hearts together. Even the bonds we form with family and friends, through sharing our struggles and triumphs, connect us all to the collective vine. The connection between a husband and wife really, when we look at it, models the deeply intimate connection between Christ and his people. Many of us long for that deep intimacy. We long for the intended intimacy with a seemingly disconnected God, and the intimacy from a partner helps us tangibly fulfill these deeply ingrained needs. Dating, as well as any relationship for that matter, should be handled with the similar seriousness of pursuing our relationship with God.

2) We take relationships too seriously.
The problem with relationships is that they involve people. People sin, we sin. If our sole means for fulfilling our inborn desires for intimacy, love, and purpose is based on finding the right one, we are bound to be disappointed. God will provide for our needs and he will provide us with a spouse. God has been teaching me to slowly trust in him more and more with every aspect of my life. We are tempted to enter into a relationship before we even know who God is, who we are, and where our lives are going. Let us fall in love with Jesus before we fall in love with anyone else.

What has definitely helped me sort through the misty waters of dating is being able to sort through the fog with friends. As our community becomes tighter, attractions are bound to emerge. We are afraid, however, to seriously discuss such a vital aspect of our lives. God has blessed us with a desire to share our lives with another and I truly believe he longs to fulfill our God-given desires. Let us first approach the author of our lives before we begin to write the story of our lives with someone else. And as we journey along with someone, my God continue to redeem and glorify himself through our inadequacies and failures.

Flowering Plants

Haven't posted in an eternity. No one probably reads this at all (or ever did). But here goes:

So last semester I bought a nicely flowering plant during the autumn season. I thought the cute little orange flowers would bring some life into our otherwise musty dorm room. After a few days of accentuating the room, the flowers started to wither. What was I doing wrong? Were the living conditions of our room in that much of squalor? I tried watering the plant; I placed the plant by the window (but not too close for fear of freezing its fragile green leaves); I even used my desk lamp to provide extra tender loving care for my beloved plant. No, I did not name the thing if that was what you were thinking. Anyways, the flowers eventually withered and fell off. My efforts to nurture the plant were for none and what was left was a shrubby tuft of leaves. I failed; I acknowledged defeat and stopped watering the plant.

Nonetheless, after a month or so of neglect, my roommate notices the shriveled, yellowing plant on the television. Some leaves were dried out; others were on the verge of falling off. “Sam, you got to water that thing. It’s still alive.” Then it struck me. Even though the flowers had come off, the plant was still a living organism which required tender loving care. Maybe the flowers were supposed to fall off. After all, plants in the wild have seasons of flowering and seasons of hibernation. Then it hit me again. How often do we only care about something if it serves our means and purposes, but once they are no longer useful to us, we consider them garbage? I only cared about the plant with its beautiful flowers. I was willing to love and care for the plant in order to exploit the beauty of the wonderful orange blossoms. However, once they were gone, I left the plant withering on the television.

Not only do I view and treat others this way, I realized that so many times we treat ourselves in a very similar way. We tell ourselves, “I’m not growing or God is not working because I cannot see the flowers.” Well, wake up and smell the roses, Doris. There are seasons when we bare fruit. However, the rest of the time, the gardener (i.e. God) is pruning our lives, watering us, nurturing us until the time is right. I’m thankful that we have a God who is beyond generous in his patience and diligence in growing his flowers.

Private and Public Faith

So my brother got confirmed today, and his proclamation of Christianity reminded me of the intriguing dynamics involved with the Christian faith. In one aspect, being Christian is a very personal matter. Faith is about having a personal interaction, dependence, and relationship with God. Every Christian has their unique testimony and their unique encounters with this very personal Jesus. In fact, I would go as far as to say that every Christian has their own unique view on who exactly God is.

However, as my brother went before the entire congregation proclaiming his faith along with the eight other candidates, God reminded me of the very communal nature of Christianity. Our faith is not only about understanding God in a very deep and personal way, but also about connecting with an extensive and immense community of believers. You see, my bother was not only affirming a profound faith in a God who has personally touched him and making a commitment to pursue Jesus wholeheartedly, he was also proclaiming his commitment to the community. That is one unique and mysterious aspect of this Christian faith, the notion of unity through diversity, the fact that people with different cultures and backgrounds are unified with a common vision, hope, and the fact that God has encountered their lives in a profound way. Like the parable of the lost sheep, God not only draws us to himself, he also draws the sheep back among the other 99. When we under go these types of public declarations, we enter into a serious contract and commitment to the faith we hold and the community we are a part of.

This public ceremony is a two way exchange of the person publicly committing to God and God publicly committing to this person. The community also becomes unified with this new member. The community now has the responsibility to encourage, love, and rebuke in order to help this member fulfill his/her commitments.

I believe that our words carry much weight and to violate such public and life-altering promises and vows is not only a violation of our credibility but a mark on a God who always remains faithful to his words. Christianity, in my opinion, has a large basis on notion of keeping one's word. We constantly find mentions of promises, covenants, and contracts throughout God's interaction with mankind. The major foundation of the church sits on the solid foundation of God's infallible words. If God's words were not reliable, then we would not really have anything else. So as we live out our commitments to God, we should not forget our responsibilities to God and our obligations to the community.

The Verdict

(AP) WASHINGTON A judge ruled Monday in favor of a dry cleaner that was sued for $54 million over a missing pair of pants.

The owners of Custom Cleaners did not violate the city’s Consumer Protection Act by failing to live up to Roy L. Pearson’s expectations of the “Satisfaction Guaranteed” sign that was once placed in the store window, District of Columbia Superior Court Judge Judith Bartnoff ruled.

Bartnoff ordered Pearson to pay the court costs of defendants Soo Chung, Jin Nam Chung and Ki Y. Chung.

'Nuff said.

Just the Right Night

Tonight was just the right evening. You know when the air lazily hangs in the air and the setting sun paints the sky a beautiful violet. The bugs are chirping in the distance and the air has a certain quality to it. Remember the carefree summer evenings laying out on the lawn sucking down Popsicles without anything to think about other than the immediate moment? That was what tonight felt like. Tonight felt like the essence of summer, the essence of childhood. Are we ever afforded the luxury to feel this unburdened by the pressures of life? Has that time passed into fading memory like past summers of long ago? I think that sometimes, we have to rest in the peace of God's care and be as children again. Life passes too quickly. Let's learn to enjoy it, before the summer days disappear.

Dragon Boat Festival

After a disappointing loss in the first round, we rallied to win the second race. I am so proud of the NCTU Dragon Boat Racing Team. Nice job, everyone. Unfortunately, we were prematurely eliminated the next day. Better luck next year!

Regrading 54 Million Dollar Pants: Part II

Day two.

Reporter's Notebook: Day 2 of The Case of the $54 million Pants

By Griff Jenkins

WASHINGTON — Day two of the case of the $54 million pants opened much in the same fashion as the trial had begun, with plaintiff Roy Pearson needling specific statutes and interpretations of them, prompting more wasted hours of clarification-seeking from Judge Judy Bartnoff.

On the second day, I wore an equally outrageous pair of Lily Pulitzer pants as on Tuesday's court date, and I had a better seat —- in the jury box, just feet away from the action.

When Judge Bartnoff came in the courtroom, she caught a glimpse of my pants and smiled. But soon after, Pearson began going back to issues from day one, namely his divorce case, and Judge Bartnoff took charge, dismissing Pearson's effort to re-try his divorce settlement.

Pearson's remaining issues over evidence and "settlement demands" prompted Judge Bartnoff at one point to say, "I don't know what we're doing at this point ... I thought we were talking about evidence?"

After a short break, the cross-examination of Pearson by defense attorney Chris Manning began. Manning proceeded to force Pearson to address his bitter divorce, his financial woes and his first encounter with the Chungs in 2002 which resulted in a compensation check of $150, which Pearson had demanded.

Manning asked Pearson if it made him mad when the dry cleaners lost his pants and Pearson said, "No," adding, "My temperament, generally, is I don't get angry."

That shocked most everyone in the room considering the guy is seeking $54 million in retribution in this case.

The real crux of the cross-examination came when Manning began trying to illicit Pearson's definition of what is a "reasonable" interpretation of a sign that reads: "Satisfaction Guaranteed"

Manning asked directly, "Is it reasonable to sue someone for upwards of $67 million?" And after several attempts at waffling, Pearson finally answered, "Yes."

A window into Pearson's aggressive pursuit of the pants in 2005 came when Manning confirmed with the witness that Pearson had sent a letter to the Chungs demanding $1,150 compensation (despite the Chungs producing the pants that matched the receipt) or else he would "sue them for not less that $50,000."

Nonetheless, Pearson maintained throughout the cross that he was entitled to "unconditional satisfaction" under the Washington, D.C.'s Consumer Protection Act.

After the cross, the plaintiff rested at which point Manning immediately requested a ruling asking for a "move for judgment as a matter of law on all claims."

Judge Bartnoff made a partial ruling denying Pearson's claims with regard to the one sign that read "Same Day Service." Bartnoff cited a lack of evidence and told Pearson the sign simply meant same day service was an available service at the cleaners — not a guaranteed service every time — particularly when not requested, as in Pearson's case.

Judge Bartnoff ended her ruling by telling Pearson, "you're simply reading things into it that just aren't there."

But in the matter of the "Satisfaction Guaranteed" sign and the dispute over whether the pants produced were or were not Pearson's, no closure was reached and the room broke for lunch.

After the break, Manning began his defense calling just three witnesses: a community activist who testified favorably on the contributions of the Chungs to the community; a customer of the cleaners who believed that the Chungs provided "very good service" and said his interpretation of "Satisfaction Guaranteed" meant if the Chungs couldn't resolve a problem then they should compensate the customer for the cost of the clothing item "and nothing more." The final witness was the co-owner of Custom Dry Cleaners, Soo Chung.

Mrs. Chung became very emotional and broke down sobbing during her testimony when Manning began to ask about the toll that the case has taken on her business and her life. Judge Bartnoff called for another break, and when the testimony began again, Soo Chung once again began crying, though she was able to answer that she had suffered "economically, emotionally and healthwise too."

It's worth noting that the drama was heightened some by the mere fact that the testimony was done through a Korean translator as Mrs. Chung does not speak fluent English. But in the end, Pearson at least had the good sense not to cross examine her.

Closing arguments got a bit heated between Judge Bartnoff and Pearson when things delved into an argument over what Pearson was entitled to in terms of statutory and punitive damages. I'm no lawyer, but I was a little surprised that rather than making a sort of coherent and impassioned plea for his case, Pearson continued citing statutes and cases that proved his claims under the Consumer Protection Act.

Manning's closing argument was quite different. He painted Pearson as "one man who ruthlessly abused the legal system" and caused enormous harm to his clients. He cited Pearson's divorce, financial status, history of litigiousness and a "wrath against the Chungs" since 2002. He ended his closing argument saying it is time to "support the idea of common sense... and wake up from the American nightmare created by Roy Pearson."

When it was over, Judge Bartnoff chose not to issue a ruling from the bench but said a ruling can be expected by the end of the week. The decision didn't exactly surprise me since Pearson has proved that he is a stickler for technical details, or perhaps Judge Bartnoff just wanted plenty of time to ensure the accuracy of her ruling.

At the press conference with the Chungs immediately following, Manning said he was "extraordinarily happy with how the trial went" in what he described as an "incredibly frivolous lawsuit."

Pearson again chose to ignore the media

Original link: FOXnews.com

Regarding 54 Million Dollar Pants

The saga continues. Here is a account by Fox New's Griff Jenkins of the first day of the trial. Enjoy.

Reporter's Notebook: The Case of the $54 million Pants

by Griff Jenkins

WASHINGTON — The case of the $54 million pants suit began Tuesday as standing room only in the circus that was Judge Judith Bartnoff’s courtroom 415 at D.C. Superior Court — a room filled mostly with media and Korean supporters of defendants Jin and Soo Chung and their son, Ki.

The plaintiff, Judge Roy Pearson dropped his original claim of $67 million because he chose to withdraw the claim of the actual loss of the pants, which were eventually found in the Chung's dry cleaning store, and focus on what he says are fraudulent signs in the store that read "Satisfaction Guaranteed" and "Same Day Service."

The first 45 minutes of the trial were strangely devoted to Judge Bartnoff seeking clarification of Judge Pearson’s withdrawal of the lost pants claims and determining what exactly the case was really about — the false advertising citied under D.C.’s Consumer Protection Act.

Once that ended and opening statements began, defense attorney Chris Manning said this was "a simple case about people."

Manning suggested that because of Pearson’s unpleasant divorce in 2003, his financial hardships and his attempt to seek revenge on the Chungs for losing his pants, this case had become a "perfect legal storm."

Manning summed up the opening statement with this quote: "This is a terrible example of American litigiousness." Manning also noted that this case comes down now to what a "reasonable person" would interpret "satisfaction guaranteed" to mean.

Pearson, who represented himself, proceeded to call some eight witnesses that included his 38-year-old son and some members of the community who had had bad experiences with Custom Dry Cleaners, including an 89-year-old woman in a wheelchair who drifted at times into her service in the Kennedy-Johnson administration.

This witness, Dr. Grace Hewell, was certainly entertaining when she noted that she was "chased" out of the store by Mr. Chung, which she then slid into comparing to "surviving the Nazis" while she was stationed in Germany in World War II.

It’s worth noting, though, that in the cross-examination of most of the witnesses, they were willing to admit that they "would have been satisfied" if they had gotten simple compensation from the Chungs for the loss or ruined pieces of clothing.

Pearson also called his salesman at Nordstrom’s to testify about the value of his Hickey Freeman suits as well as a member of his own Office of Administrative Hearings, who testified that Pearson "had no social life" and worked on his case on the weekends rather than going camping in West Virginia with the witness.

When Pearson testified as himself — a narrative that lasted for more than an hour — he broke down and cried and asked for a recess. The breakdown occurred right after he described being told that the Chungs "did not have his pants" that he so desperately needed to start his new job as a judge in 2005.

After his long-winded testimony, Pearson attempted to admit evidence — much of which was not permitted. This exercise took another hour.

The trial ended without a cross-examination of Pearson by Manning. That activity opens Wednesday's session and will be followed by the defense's calling of witnesses.

This reporter's sense is that Judge Bartnoff is becoming increasingly impatient with Pearson’s lack of evidence and illegitimate claims to personal injury. Not many in the audience appeared to have much sympathy for Pearson's teary-eyed moment.

After the trial ended, I rode the elevator down with the Chungs and I asked Mr. Chung how he was doing. He told me quietly, "I’m doing fine." Manning said they were "confident" that after the second day of testimony, the Chungs will prevail.

My attempt to speak with Judge Pearson, cameras in tow and me in my floral Lily Pulitzer pants, was greeted with a simple statement: "You’re being rude!"

As I wrapped up the day's events on air with The Big Story's John Gibson, a freak thunderstorm befell the city, and I noted the thunder, rain and lighting by saying, "I don’t know, John, but judging from the act of God in the background, perhaps even He is upset with this frivolous lawsuit."

Some other color to note — a man in a seersucker suit from the American Tort Reform Association handed out green buttons with a picture of pants on them that read: "$65 Million Pantsuit Perverts D.C.’s Consumer Protection Law."

The case starts up again Wednesday morning and I’ll be there to find out what the defense has to say.

Original link: FOXnews.com

"American" Food

NutritionData.com is a great site to find nutritional information from carrots to Big Macs to Whale meat. I must admit that I am a fast food enthusiast. Especially after being in Taiwan for a while, I hate to admit that I miss a lot of the greasy, fattening foods found in many of the fast food restaurants in the United States. Not to say that Taiwan cuisine is lacking. In fact, I am kinda of frustrated that I do not know enough Chinese to order some of the more local favorites. Nonetheless, I would not mind a nice thick slice of Chicago style pizza.

Anyways, here are some nutritional facts for three menu items from three popular American restaurant chains.

I have never had the Hardee's Bacon Cheddar 2/3 Pound Thick Burger. However, I hope to eat one before I die. Actually, I imagine that I'll probably die right after eating this bad boy. Layer of saturated fat after saturated fat - two day's worth - toped off with a thick dollop of mayo, all wrapped up in a sesame bun. Unfortunately, there aren't too many Hardees near my hometown. One day, my friend. One day we shall be one!


A few years ago Krispy Kreme hit the nation like bubonic plague. Everyone was raving about how delicious these delicate, light pastries were. My parents would occasionally bring these treats home from the next town over. They were good, but they were not that good. I honestly think Dunkin' Doughnuts makes a comparable doughnut. The nation finally came to its senses and people aren't so rabid about them anymore. Krispy Kremes dot the landscape but it seems like people don't really go there anymore. What was once a great treat to bring for class snacks is now something overrated and overdone. The deceptive nature of these pastries is that they're puffy. So after eating one, you want another. They do not satisfy you, they're like heroin. But you got almost 20% fat in one serving. Quickly pop down 5 and you have enough fat for the day.

Now this is the good stuff. Taco Bell's Grilled Stuffed Burrito. While this may not be as fresh as a Chipotle burrito, Taco Bell's GSB is a lot cheaper and serves as a quick and filling pick-me-up. I'll admit that this thing has a lot of sodium, but when made right, this thing actually fills me up. The GSB had a certain heftiness in the hands and the mix of meat, rice, and grease coupled with about ten packets of fire sauce make for a great quick lunch or late night food run. Unfortunately, Taco Bell's GSB can be a hit or miss depending on the restaurant. Some places know how to place the filling and grill the burrito just right while other places don't put any love into it.

A Bear Attacks Arnold Schwarzenegger

Clip from Hercules in New York. This movie is currently ranked # 73 on IMDB's 100 worst movies of all time. I'll let you guys decide whether the critics have been too harsh. It's amazing how a body builder can become an actor and eventually become governor of California. Arnold's story is a testament to the determination of his character and the opportunities available in the United States. Enjoy the clip.

Coke Zero

可口可樂 = Delicious and Happiness.
[ke kou ke le]

I'm a fan of Coca-Cola. I think it's because I'm a traditional values kinda guy. While Pepsi has the slightly smoother taste and 'hipper' image, I would most likely grab a Coke product based on sheer principles. Coke stands for tradition. A tradition of exploiting workers and hegemonizing the world.

The new Coke Zero recently came out in Taiwan. Coca-Cola's Coke Zero campaign seems to be working here. Zero is always in short supply at the nearby Family Mart. It's dark packaging gives Zero a futuristic spacey feel like something you would drink in the cold, dark regions of outer space. I like the flavor compared to Coke's other diet products. Zero has less of an after taste, but still has a very abrasive flavor especially when it is chilled. It burns the throat. However, there is no other way to drink Zero than chilled and rough like you're swallowing a thousand bubbling stars down your throat. Zero pairs nicely with McDonald's Big Mac meal and works well with hot, salty foods. I would save Zero for the late afternoon after a hard day's work or for those occasional junky, quick dinners of fast food or barbecue. Zero should be throughly chilled and usually complements some sort of salty food. I usually will not drink Zero by itself, to quench thirst, or cool down - there are much better drinks for that such as water. Admittedly, Zero has an artificial taste and no one should claim otherwise.

To sum up the essence of Coke Zero, I would say Zero would be something that Darth Vader would drink. Their shiny black exteriors compliment each other nicely. Both are undoubtedly artificial personas with human undertones. Both are best served chilled. Both remind me of the cruel, harsh reaches of outer space. And both represent large empires trying to establish absolute domination over the universe. Remember: Coke = delicious and happiness.

Ship of Fools

Are we are a ship of fools? We carry on with our merry little lives. We laugh, play, sing, and drink as we gently float down the river of our lives. However, we are so distracted by the business of maintaining our livelihoods on this boat that we fail to question our eventual destination. We are so busy occupying ourselves with the trivialities of our lives that we forget to answer the most important questions. Not to say maintaining status and comfort during our journey is not of utmost importance, however, what would be the point of such things, if the boat were to eventually plummet down a waterfall? The point I'm trying to make is that some times we get distracted by social pressures to "succeed" that we fail to see the bigger picture. There are three questions which I propose to the fellow members of this cruise. They are: Where did this ship set sail from? Where is this ship going? And can we change the itinerary?

Animaniac Fun

Does this video by the Animaniacs have a political slant? You decide. Notice what Yakko says when there's ~37 seconds left in the video. Enjoy.

This is a Wacko classic. I used to watch this as a child.

The Cultural Adjustment Curve

Behold, I present the "Cultural Adjustment Curve"...

The University of Illinois provided this chart to help students gage their emotions while studying abroad. Ironically, the Cultural Adjustment Curve looks very similar to the terrain in Taiwan except for the fact that Mount Olympus is located in Greece. I would say that I'm slowly climbing my way to Robot Utopia.

The Plight of Dry Cleaners

Judge Suing Dry Cleaners $67 millions for pants

This is outrageous. People do not realize how hard and stressful owning a dry cleaner is. They wonder, how can someone loose a simple pair of pants? Well, everyday, hundreds of items of clothing have to be processed, labeled, spot treated, cleaned, pressed, and sorted. These items of clothing look very similar. The turn around is only a few days and people love their clothes a lot (maybe a little too much). I would say that the majority of dry cleaners are hard-working families who have the difficulty of daily balancing the dynamics of earning a living and helping customers out as best as possible. At least that the case with what I've experienced.

Some Things to Think About

I'm just simply trying too hard. There is this deeply ingrained mentality to be the best overachiever in everything which I put my mind to. I have to be the best follower of Christ in the world or else I am a failure. I know this is wrong, and that eats at me even more! In many sorts, it's a catch 22. You strive to be perfect, but striving to be perfect makes you imperfect. I hate this mentality to succeed. It's like a cancer. You know you have this thing that's killing you, but you can't do anything about it. You can't will your mutated cells to turn healthy again. Radical surgery needs to happen.

Being in Taiwan has highlighted a lot of the eastern values which shape the person I have come to be, parts which I cherish and despise at the same time. Take for instance this mentality of restraint. I'm not only taking about the idea of dealing with personal matters personally and dutifully eating the bitter circumstances fed to you because of the long established traditions and values of society. I'm not only talking about being scared to screw up because when you do, you not only dishonor yourself, but your family, the generations of ancestors before you, and the entire Chinese people. To be frank and honest, when I heard the shooter of the VT tragedy was Asian, I felt a sense of shame. I had absolutely no association with this person, but when I heard he was Asian, I felt as if I was an accomplice to this horrible crime. I not only felt sad for the students of VT, but I felt sad for the shooter's parents who would have to bare this unbearable sense of shame. There is this constant pressure to live up to the expectations of the family and society. Marriage is a given. In Taiwan, there is this underlining tension to get married, produce offspring, and produce at least one son to pass on the family name. I'm not saying all this is bad, if anything a little bit of self-control and restraint goes a long way. A little bit of thinking about others and the people you represent before you satisfy your personal needs is something lacking in a lot of people living in the States. Nonetheless, the underlying tension to get an education, achieve accolades, get a well paying job, and obey every word of your parents somehow bothers me a little bit. It bothers me not because it goes against my value system. Quiet the opposite, it highlights the underlying tensions which exists in my heart. Maybe it's for this reason that I decided to go into Electrical Engineering along with an abnormal percentage of Asians. Maybe it's for this reason that I'm hypercritical over what other people thing of me and lack confidence in my decisions and the person who I truly am. Maybe we have been drinking the bitterness of restraint for so long that it's become sweet in out mouths. In many ways, self-denial is selfish. For the Asian, it's easy to throw aside personal ambition for the sake of honoring the pressures of other people.
I've come to a point where I've realized that I've never truly experience the grace of Christ. Albeit, I've glimpsed it, I've tasted a hint of it. The cool, refreshing droplets of grace have fallen on my lips. However, I've never really internalized grace within my heart, I've never fully come to embrace God's grace so that I can embrace the person I am. There is this precarious balancing act between accepting God's grace and being accountable to God's holiness. Strange how I've been seeing my absolute need for God's grace and, at the same time, seeing a God of absolute holiness and glory. I've yet to truly accept a God who would so generously impart his grace on my sinful heart and to continuously love a person which continues to spit in the face of the sacred. I'm desperately trying to realize that failure does not equal sin. Think about it, it's not going to be fun if everyone in heaven suddenly has the greatest basketball skills, intellectual conceptualization, and so forth. Hard to believe isn't it? Perfection is not about making every single free throw or acing every single test. We strive for those things because we long for power, status, or simply because we are ingrained with what the world tells us will make us happy. Maybe - i may be wrong - our inability to completely fight sin should not highlight our continual need to be perfect, but our continual need for God's grace. Right now, I'm waiting and hoping. I'm waiting and hoping to fully realize God's grace and love so that I can then truly be able to impart that love and grace on others. Blessed be the name of the LORD.

Hour of Power: Evel Kenievel

Apparently God still works...

Famous Daredevil Evel Kenievel's testimony and an article by Christianity Today.

Hour of Power:

Christianity Today article.

Proper Reliance and Improper Reliance

Continuation of God Doesn't Hear, He Listens...

"O LORD, in the morning you hear my
voice;
in the morning I prepare a sacrifice for
you and watch."

From David's words, we realize that there is an emergence of a pattern of waiting before the LORD. Call this time of waiting whatever you like, quiet time, time in the Word, whatever. We can begin drawing conclusions about David's attitudes toward God. David mentions the time of day, "In the morning." We realize David's total need and reliance on God to sustain him through the day. We begin to see his priorities emerge. Before attending to the immense duties in running his kingdom, David comes before God. The wording of the verse is first, God hears his voice, and second, I prepare a sacrifice for you. Even before David offers his sacrifice, before the day starts, God is there, hearing and listening to the voice of David. How awesome that before attending to the "business" of running his heavenly kingdom, God heeds the voice of David in a very personal way. David's time is also scheduled and set apart. Sacred in many ways.
A three part dynamic emerges from this passage. The first dynamic is that God listens. He listens even before David is able to offer Him sacrifices. God also listens on a very personal and intimate level. David sets aside time and God sets aside time to have a deep, soulful interchange. The second dynamic is that David offers his sacrifices, or as the NIV says, lay his requests. Back in the day, sacrifices were not casual affairs. There were a lot of regulations on the type of animal to sacrifice, the place to sacrifice, and the person who sacrifices. Do something haphazardly and wham! fire from heaven. David understood the holiness of God and that his interchange with God needed to be done in proper attitude and fashion. David realized that he was a servant to God and that God was not a servant to him. Lastly, we see David waiting in expectation. After the preparation of his sacrifice, David watches. First and foremost, David expects God to respond. And secondly, David waits for God to respond. He does not offer his sacrifice and leaves. He waits, he listens; God listens to David, and David listens to God. A dialog starts to happen.
What really surprises me is David's attitude toward time in respect with God. Time with God is not being lost with each passing moment, instead, value is being gained. David cherishes his time with God.

Summary:
David prioritizes and schedules times with God.
David has intimate dialog with God. He speaks, God listens. He listens, God speaks.
David has proper respect for the holiness of God.

Next section, Good News, Bad News ...

(God is outside of time. It is not like God is losing time or aging. However, from a human perspective, a God who cares to have personal relationships with people is truly amazing.)