Over the last two week with round after round of talking with perspective employers, I am confident in saying that I’m beat. I’ve had good conversations, alright conversations, and the occasional horribly awkward ones. Behind each progressive conversation there has always been an undertone of superficiality. What can I say to have them hire me? How do I best accentuate my skills and talents? Even the great conversations I’ve had have been tainted with a sense of evaluation and judgment from both ends.
After a week of living in such a mind set, it is easy to carry that attitude into all aspects of my life. There is this constant evaluation of other people. We begin to compare our qualities and worth to the resume of the person next to us. Are we smarter than them? More popular? Better looking? Earn more money? I mean isn’t this the way society assigns worth to someone? By the contributions they can make to society.
I believe that we all have intrinsic worth, that our value is not evaluated by how much we can contribute to God’s kingdom. Nonetheless, I also believe that God did not endow everyone with the same means or ability. And, further more, our performances are evaluated by our utilization of these skills, abilities, and resources. Unfortunately, so much of the time, the people who are blessed the most, perform the worst. Sure, they make the money, develop the technology, and receive much accolade, but how have they used their resources for God’s kingdom? That’s where I stand at this point in time. Just like the last few days, I’m wandering around from booth to booth trying to figure where I am going to focus my energy and talent. Will I choose to invest God’s talents or spend them for my own life? Sometimes in the drowning noise of this world, God’s still voice is hard to hear. We really have to listen intently and intentionally if we ever hope to live by God’s way and not our own.
God has already blessed me with a college education, money in my pocket, good health, and many good friends. I only pray and hope that at the end of my life, I will have something to show God for what he has so graciously and lovingly blessed me with. This is the desire of my heart. We certainly don’t earn God’s love. God freely invests his love in our lives so that it may increase and be generously shared through our obedient surrender. May glory be to God forever and ever.
