I believe that God finds just as much delight in someone who tries a task which they are not talented in as to a talented somebody who does something without the slightest hesitation. God delights in steps of faith just as a parent finds utmost joy when their child walks for the first time. Even though the hesitant first steps are clumsy and wobbly, they are steps that will be forever cherished in a parent's heart. God prods us to take wobbly steps of faith while standing ready to catch us when we stumble. On the other hand, I believe that God also finds delight in those that use the talents he has so graciously given. A parent not only delights in the clumsy first steps, they also delight in watching their child perform graciously at a dance recital or skillfully at a track race.
So many times, I have torn myself up because I have felt awkward and uncoordinated in my steps of faith. The first small group which I led was filled with countless instances of awkwardness and failure. Who am I to say that God is not able to use my failures for his glory? Am I so powerful as to displace the soverign will of God? Certainly not.
Even now I still question God whenever he calls me to take certain steps of faith. The uncomfortable fear of feeling awkward always creeps into my heart. Feelings of inadequacies and doubts of my abilities permeate through out my thought life. So many times I forget about the superposition of justification by faith over justification by works.
One way fear manifests itself in my life occurs through God's calling to evangelise. While walking to class, I see the countless lost souls on campus. Yet, I wonder why I do not take more action to save them from enimient death. Why am I so complacent and fear stricken? Still, he calls everyone to spread out and continually share about God's glory. Believe me. I am awkward in many ways. Yet God calls me to readily share despite my introverted nature. Why? Because God delights in steps of faith. Through this realization, my entire perspective on life changes. I begin to understand that every moment of my being and every thread of my life-long progression leads to a fuller reliance and dependance on God. Taking steps of faith into areas of weakness and uncomfortable refinement force me to realize my inadequacy and acknowledge God's complete transformative power. I do not take action because I am in control, rather, due to the fact that God is.
Eventually, as I am able to take greater steps of faith, God transforms and develops my weaknesses into strengths and tools. One example is prayer. I remember this one person in my small group who at first, did not have any practice in corporate prayer. However, as he took more steps of faith, God began to develop his words and thoughts. His prayer began to vastly mature. God also uses steps of faith to humble my pride and even redirect me to areas of my strengths, allowing others to fill in for my shortfall.
Man, staying comfortable is so easy to do. I am a creature of selfish complacency. I tend to gravitate towards living life in my own isolated bubble. So many times I base my actions on me and what benefits me. When, in actuality, life is all about God. Even the prospect of being willing to be uncomfortable brings about fear. However, I pray and praise God for his transformative work.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Dying for Christ
For the longest time I questioned whether I would be able to die for Christ. You hear about Christians paying the ultimate price. I wondered whether under the most torturous instances I would deny my LORD. I struggled a great deal during senior year of high school with that issue. I questioned the authenticity of my faith and God. My mind sunk into a pit of doubt and despair.
Then God answered ...
The real hard question was not: are you able to die for God. Instead, the truly challenging question that I was not asking was: are you willing to live for God. Dying for God is easy once you realize what lies beyond the grave. Living for Christ, on the other hand, through the most heavy of suffering is the real challenge. I questioned whether I was willing to travel to some far off country to die for God. However, God showed me that I was not even willing to proclaim the message of Christ to those around me during the everyday mundane of life. O, how I forget that the abundant life is manifested in the everyday of life. The kingdom of God is manifested through the daily grind and endurance of life. I do not want to sound too judgmental, but the suicide bombers have a skewed perspective on devotion. Devotion to God is not proven through the taking of ones life for a cause. Instead, devotion is exemplified through the patient and sometimes painful living of one's life for God.
Jesus does not only call us to die. He calls us to die, then to live for him. I wonder what I am doing to live for God's kingdom.
Wow, think about how I so dearly cling to the temporary life of this world. God, work out your convictions in my life.
Then God answered ...
The real hard question was not: are you able to die for God. Instead, the truly challenging question that I was not asking was: are you willing to live for God. Dying for God is easy once you realize what lies beyond the grave. Living for Christ, on the other hand, through the most heavy of suffering is the real challenge. I questioned whether I was willing to travel to some far off country to die for God. However, God showed me that I was not even willing to proclaim the message of Christ to those around me during the everyday mundane of life. O, how I forget that the abundant life is manifested in the everyday of life. The kingdom of God is manifested through the daily grind and endurance of life. I do not want to sound too judgmental, but the suicide bombers have a skewed perspective on devotion. Devotion to God is not proven through the taking of ones life for a cause. Instead, devotion is exemplified through the patient and sometimes painful living of one's life for God.
Jesus does not only call us to die. He calls us to die, then to live for him. I wonder what I am doing to live for God's kingdom.
Wow, think about how I so dearly cling to the temporary life of this world. God, work out your convictions in my life.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Words
Over winter break, the word redemption was used. Particularly in the context of a kinsmen redeemer exemplified through the relationship between Boaz and Ruth. While we were sharing about instances of God's redemptive work in our lives, I realized that I do not really know what that word even means. In fact, God convicted me of my ignorant use of 'Christian' catch phrases. I have my conceptions of certain words and their meanings, however, do I really know what God intended when he placed them in the Bible? Honestly, there probably exists some linguistic school of thought that has some explanation or theory explaining the formation of meaning behind words. Probably goes along the lines about how the exact same word can have different meanings to different people. So, here is what redemption means to me. Basically, I have broken redemption into three categories of meaning: Representation, Ransom, and Restoration.
Representation.
The redeemer acts as a representative for a person who otherwise would be helpless.
Basically, the Old testament function of a kinsman redeemer was to free a relative from slavery, enact justice to a crime committed on that relative, or provide protection to the dead relative's wife. Basically, one aspect of the redemptive process is to guarantee the rights of an individual who, otherwise, had no power to claim their rights by themselves. This aspect of redemption was an obligation that God commanded the people of Israel to exhibit. In other words, acting as a redemptive representative is our responsibility as part of the body of Christ. Redemption is a call of duty. Redemption happens when individuals stand-up for the rights of marginalized individuals in society. Redemption also happens when judges promote due justice in the courts. They are acting as redeemers for the victims who otherwise would be helpless to enact justice. On a similar note, lawyers act as redeemers to innocent individuals who know not their legal rights in the court system.
In many ways, God is the ultimate redeemer. He acts as the fair judge who enacts ultimate justice on sins in due process. God also acts as an advocate. Jesus acts as our representative who has full natures of both God and man. He not only knows the full character of God, Jesus also knows the full character of human nature. He is the one that bridges the gap between Man and the creator, and stands as a our legal consul in the courtroom of God's throne. The Holy Spirit also acts as an intercessor between God and Man. In many ways, God's redemptive process occurs when God does something in our life that we alone could never do.
Ransom.
The redeemer pays a ransom in exchange for a person who otherwise has no means to pay.
The act of redemption is not cheap. The kinsmen redeemer must buy the freedom of his relative or risk pain and suffering in order to redeem that relative. In other words, the redemptive process is an exchange. The redeemer must give something in order to get something back, and what they get may not even be comparable in value to the thing they exchanged. This exchange may come in the form of money, time, trust, and effort. Individuals must exchange money to redeem a hostage. A spouse must invest loads of time and energy into their counter-parts to redeem them from countless times of unfaithfulness and failure. Likewise, parents exchange loads of time and trust to redeem a child from disobedience.
The most obvious example of God paying a redemptive ransom appears through the payment of Jesus Christ. Jesus gave up everything in order to act as a ransom for us. We were under the bondage of sin and God's judgment hung over our heads. There was no means for paying our own way out. Jesus, acting as the ransom, set us free by shamefully hanging on a tree. There exists no greater redemption than that of Christ's ransom. God's redemptive work also happens everyday. Just like a husband or wife to an unfaithful spouse or a parent to a disobedient child, God patiently invests time, love, and trust into a constantly unfaithful creation. God graciously withholds his demand for judgment on our sinful deeds so that those who are perishing may be saved. Admittedly, thinking of an infinite God having to sacrifice anything is quite hard to grasp. However, an infinite God has an infinite desire for justice, imagine how hard holding back infinite justice would be. This is not to say that God has struggles with his own nature. Instead, I believe that God makes sacrifices (I do not even really know what this word means) for his own beloved children everyday.
Restoration.
The redeemer restores a person's value and true worth.
Ultimately, redemption is a change of status. Whether from slave to free, widow to wife, victimized to empowered, redemption is a restoration to an initial state. This restoration occurs through representative and costly redemption.
An analogy would be that of an old beat up copper pitcher one would find in an antique store. The pitcher has long gone unused, crusted over, dull, and dented. Well, a certain person finds this old pitcher, closely inspects the find, and decides to purchase the beat up old thing. He smoothes out the dents, polishes the metal to a bright glistening glow and proudly displays the pitcher during his many dinner parties. He serves lemonade with the pitcher and places this precious work of art as a centerpiece to everything else on the table. He tenderly cleans the restored and beautiful pitcher and stores it in a china cabinet. God restores our old beat up, sinful selves into a precious, clean self. This self is the way God originally intended us to be. This self is the true worth that God sees in us through our blemishes.
In the beginning, God created man and woman and declared his creation good. He placed intrinsic value to his precious creation. However, after the fall, we became dull, dented, and crusted over. We depreciated our worth and became as useless as garbage. God saw past our sins and flaws. He redeems us through his son, Jesus Christ, to restore value, worth, and functionality. Everyday is a process of restoration; everyday we are redeemed and called to redeem others.
God stands as our advocate, our ransom, and our restoration. He stands as our redeemer. Hopefully, I will realize and take notice of God's constant redemption and be His vessel of redemption for other people.
Representation.
The redeemer acts as a representative for a person who otherwise would be helpless.
Basically, the Old testament function of a kinsman redeemer was to free a relative from slavery, enact justice to a crime committed on that relative, or provide protection to the dead relative's wife. Basically, one aspect of the redemptive process is to guarantee the rights of an individual who, otherwise, had no power to claim their rights by themselves. This aspect of redemption was an obligation that God commanded the people of Israel to exhibit. In other words, acting as a redemptive representative is our responsibility as part of the body of Christ. Redemption is a call of duty. Redemption happens when individuals stand-up for the rights of marginalized individuals in society. Redemption also happens when judges promote due justice in the courts. They are acting as redeemers for the victims who otherwise would be helpless to enact justice. On a similar note, lawyers act as redeemers to innocent individuals who know not their legal rights in the court system.
In many ways, God is the ultimate redeemer. He acts as the fair judge who enacts ultimate justice on sins in due process. God also acts as an advocate. Jesus acts as our representative who has full natures of both God and man. He not only knows the full character of God, Jesus also knows the full character of human nature. He is the one that bridges the gap between Man and the creator, and stands as a our legal consul in the courtroom of God's throne. The Holy Spirit also acts as an intercessor between God and Man. In many ways, God's redemptive process occurs when God does something in our life that we alone could never do.
Ransom.
The redeemer pays a ransom in exchange for a person who otherwise has no means to pay.
The act of redemption is not cheap. The kinsmen redeemer must buy the freedom of his relative or risk pain and suffering in order to redeem that relative. In other words, the redemptive process is an exchange. The redeemer must give something in order to get something back, and what they get may not even be comparable in value to the thing they exchanged. This exchange may come in the form of money, time, trust, and effort. Individuals must exchange money to redeem a hostage. A spouse must invest loads of time and energy into their counter-parts to redeem them from countless times of unfaithfulness and failure. Likewise, parents exchange loads of time and trust to redeem a child from disobedience.
The most obvious example of God paying a redemptive ransom appears through the payment of Jesus Christ. Jesus gave up everything in order to act as a ransom for us. We were under the bondage of sin and God's judgment hung over our heads. There was no means for paying our own way out. Jesus, acting as the ransom, set us free by shamefully hanging on a tree. There exists no greater redemption than that of Christ's ransom. God's redemptive work also happens everyday. Just like a husband or wife to an unfaithful spouse or a parent to a disobedient child, God patiently invests time, love, and trust into a constantly unfaithful creation. God graciously withholds his demand for judgment on our sinful deeds so that those who are perishing may be saved. Admittedly, thinking of an infinite God having to sacrifice anything is quite hard to grasp. However, an infinite God has an infinite desire for justice, imagine how hard holding back infinite justice would be. This is not to say that God has struggles with his own nature. Instead, I believe that God makes sacrifices (I do not even really know what this word means) for his own beloved children everyday.
Restoration.
The redeemer restores a person's value and true worth.
Ultimately, redemption is a change of status. Whether from slave to free, widow to wife, victimized to empowered, redemption is a restoration to an initial state. This restoration occurs through representative and costly redemption.
An analogy would be that of an old beat up copper pitcher one would find in an antique store. The pitcher has long gone unused, crusted over, dull, and dented. Well, a certain person finds this old pitcher, closely inspects the find, and decides to purchase the beat up old thing. He smoothes out the dents, polishes the metal to a bright glistening glow and proudly displays the pitcher during his many dinner parties. He serves lemonade with the pitcher and places this precious work of art as a centerpiece to everything else on the table. He tenderly cleans the restored and beautiful pitcher and stores it in a china cabinet. God restores our old beat up, sinful selves into a precious, clean self. This self is the way God originally intended us to be. This self is the true worth that God sees in us through our blemishes.
In the beginning, God created man and woman and declared his creation good. He placed intrinsic value to his precious creation. However, after the fall, we became dull, dented, and crusted over. We depreciated our worth and became as useless as garbage. God saw past our sins and flaws. He redeems us through his son, Jesus Christ, to restore value, worth, and functionality. Everyday is a process of restoration; everyday we are redeemed and called to redeem others.
God stands as our advocate, our ransom, and our restoration. He stands as our redeemer. Hopefully, I will realize and take notice of God's constant redemption and be His vessel of redemption for other people.
Monday, February 06, 2006
Life, Love, and Lust
Recently, one thing that has plagued my mind was the thought of relationships with the opposite sex. I believe that in this culture of male-female interactions, God gets lost in the emotional ebb and flow of the stormy waves of our minds. Unfortunately, over the past weeks and even now, my mind seems to be constantly occupied by thoughts and feelings that I cannot quite explain. God, however, in his infinite wisdom, has taught me some lessons and has convicted my soul in many ways.
One question that seems to constantly weigh on my soul is the issue of distinguishing between actual God-given attraction or merely the unrestrained lustful desires of my heart. Honestly and quite sinfully in many aspects, I find myself given over to many short-lived periods of infatuation. This type of seemingly innocent feelings of attraction easily lead to the defiling of the thought life. This defilement, I find, is not only manifested in lustful, sexual thoughts, but lustful, non-sexual thoughts . I think males and females generally struggle differently. That being more for males dealing with the first issue and more for females with the second issue. That being said, I struggle with both issues and my failings are not limited to just one. The first one is a more obvious and apparent violation of God's moral law. In many ways, lust is taking the other person against their will and committing acts of sexual perversion in the mind. Sounds kinda like rape. Sounds kinda extreme. However, remember where sin starts. That's right, the thought life. To think that anyone that has thought impurely about someone has, in effect, committed mental rape. Lust not only effects the person committing the sin and the person sinned against, lust stretches far greater than that. Imagine how disrespectful this is for the future husband of this future wife or again the heavenly Father of this precious daughter. Many times, I do not realize the sheer gravity of lustful thought and the abomination lust is to God.
What about the second issue, dealing with infatuation. What about thoughts of having a romantic, non-sexual interaction with that person. This type of lust comes in a more subtle form because of its non-explicit guises. One might think that just because their thoughts are not sexual, they are not committing sin. What could possibly be wrong with thoughts of being wooed or wooing someone else. The thought of being cherished and cherishing another is - in itself - not sinful. However, problems start to arise when this type of longing supersedes our love for God. Not only does this distract our minds from Christ, I find that this alters our motivations, desires, thoughts, and wants away from Christ. Eventually, our fulfillment and happiness no longer depends on Christ, but that person becomes the center of our focus. Only Christ can fill the empty void for companionship. Christ is our first love. During the past few weeks, I found myself preoccupied with other things rather than God. Jesus is the only completely fulfilling thing in my life, he is the only perfect lover and cherisher of my soul. God really convicted me that I should be cherishing God and seeking after the adoration of Christ and not that of a person.
This may sound kind of weird, especially coming from a guy, but God really showed me that a truly perfect relationship only comes through Christ. I so easily become infatuated with people I hardly know, but how often am I infatuated with God. Do I long to be in his presence, to be held under his protective care. Do I freely share the most intimate secrets with my God. Am I willing to sacrifice life and ambition to please the one and only God Almighty. When I think about God, does my heart flutter and my soul blush. Honestly, I hardly have such heart-felt infatuation for God.
At IV Winter Retreat, the message was on the story of Ruth. The story of Ruth is a tender tale of devotion, love, and redemption. (Ruth). Basically, I realized that the interaction between Ruth and Boaz parallels the interaction between God and his followers. Jesus is the true kinsman redeemer; Jesus is the true lover of my soul; and Jesus exemplifies true steadfast-love in his covenant relationship.
God has also taught me that a wife is a gift from God. I neither deserve nor am able to earn a companion. You might be thinking, so you basically are going to sit around and pray that God plops a wife down in front of you. No. I think that this is a good mind set in not being anxious about the future and to truely cherish something that God so graciously gives and does not give. Honestly, I still do not know the clear distinction between attraction and lust, and I struggle with them all the time. Trusting in God is hard to do. Letting go of envy, jealousy, and selfishness is hard to do. Giving to God someone you cherish is hard to do. In the end, even your "soulmate" belongs to God. To demand that someone love you more than God is not love. True love is exemplified when one offers the things that they most cherish to God. However, I certainly do not think that feelings should be denied nor sins hidden. I have resolved to honestly present them to God and wait for him to answer me.
One question that seems to constantly weigh on my soul is the issue of distinguishing between actual God-given attraction or merely the unrestrained lustful desires of my heart. Honestly and quite sinfully in many aspects, I find myself given over to many short-lived periods of infatuation. This type of seemingly innocent feelings of attraction easily lead to the defiling of the thought life. This defilement, I find, is not only manifested in lustful, sexual thoughts, but lustful, non-sexual thoughts . I think males and females generally struggle differently. That being more for males dealing with the first issue and more for females with the second issue. That being said, I struggle with both issues and my failings are not limited to just one. The first one is a more obvious and apparent violation of God's moral law. In many ways, lust is taking the other person against their will and committing acts of sexual perversion in the mind. Sounds kinda like rape. Sounds kinda extreme. However, remember where sin starts. That's right, the thought life. To think that anyone that has thought impurely about someone has, in effect, committed mental rape. Lust not only effects the person committing the sin and the person sinned against, lust stretches far greater than that. Imagine how disrespectful this is for the future husband of this future wife or again the heavenly Father of this precious daughter. Many times, I do not realize the sheer gravity of lustful thought and the abomination lust is to God.
What about the second issue, dealing with infatuation. What about thoughts of having a romantic, non-sexual interaction with that person. This type of lust comes in a more subtle form because of its non-explicit guises. One might think that just because their thoughts are not sexual, they are not committing sin. What could possibly be wrong with thoughts of being wooed or wooing someone else. The thought of being cherished and cherishing another is - in itself - not sinful. However, problems start to arise when this type of longing supersedes our love for God. Not only does this distract our minds from Christ, I find that this alters our motivations, desires, thoughts, and wants away from Christ. Eventually, our fulfillment and happiness no longer depends on Christ, but that person becomes the center of our focus. Only Christ can fill the empty void for companionship. Christ is our first love. During the past few weeks, I found myself preoccupied with other things rather than God. Jesus is the only completely fulfilling thing in my life, he is the only perfect lover and cherisher of my soul. God really convicted me that I should be cherishing God and seeking after the adoration of Christ and not that of a person.
This may sound kind of weird, especially coming from a guy, but God really showed me that a truly perfect relationship only comes through Christ. I so easily become infatuated with people I hardly know, but how often am I infatuated with God. Do I long to be in his presence, to be held under his protective care. Do I freely share the most intimate secrets with my God. Am I willing to sacrifice life and ambition to please the one and only God Almighty. When I think about God, does my heart flutter and my soul blush. Honestly, I hardly have such heart-felt infatuation for God.
At IV Winter Retreat, the message was on the story of Ruth. The story of Ruth is a tender tale of devotion, love, and redemption. (Ruth). Basically, I realized that the interaction between Ruth and Boaz parallels the interaction between God and his followers. Jesus is the true kinsman redeemer; Jesus is the true lover of my soul; and Jesus exemplifies true steadfast-love in his covenant relationship.
God has also taught me that a wife is a gift from God. I neither deserve nor am able to earn a companion. You might be thinking, so you basically are going to sit around and pray that God plops a wife down in front of you. No. I think that this is a good mind set in not being anxious about the future and to truely cherish something that God so graciously gives and does not give. Honestly, I still do not know the clear distinction between attraction and lust, and I struggle with them all the time. Trusting in God is hard to do. Letting go of envy, jealousy, and selfishness is hard to do. Giving to God someone you cherish is hard to do. In the end, even your "soulmate" belongs to God. To demand that someone love you more than God is not love. True love is exemplified when one offers the things that they most cherish to God. However, I certainly do not think that feelings should be denied nor sins hidden. I have resolved to honestly present them to God and wait for him to answer me.
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