Dreams and a Spanking New Bible!

Last night, I dreamt that I was enthusiastically quoting the Word of God. However, my enthusiasm was insincere. Behind such passionate and mellifluous rhetoric were devious motives. I was citing the Word of God not to promote God, but myself. I was bringing glory and acclaim to myself by deceiving the hearts of others. My external guise of godliness hid my inner motive of fulfilling my own agendas. As I was speaking, a force nudged me from behind and startled me. Who else caused this nudge then God. Immediately, my soul was convicted and exposed to this insincere abuse of God's word. There was no excuse for what I was doing.

By this time, I was startle from my slumber. Surprisingly, I did not wake to a wrathful and frightening feeling of condemnation. Instead, permeating the darkness was the presence of a disciplining father, full of love and convicting truth. That night, God convicted me of a grave sin. I am seeking to win the hearts of the people and not after the heart of my Lord and king. As a result of desiring earthly accolades, I have forfeited all my heavenly treasures. This profound dream made me wonder about how I have been insincere.

The most apparent area is my prayers. More specifically, public prayer. So many times I long to sound godly and spirit filled. I long to win the approval of human ears, desiring for them to think highly of my "godliness". What may be sweet sounding words to the ears of men, is a rotting stench to the Lord. The Lord is pleased by sincere and honest prayers. Praise be to God for humbling the prideful and embracing the meek! Luke 18:9-14.

A side note:
I purchased a new bible today. The version is ESV (English Standard Version). Basically, this translation tries to follow the original Hebrew and Greek word for word. The translators only changed word order to allow for clarity of reading. This translation reads unlike NLT - the Bible I usually use - which is a meaning to meaning translation. The Bible spectrum falls somewhat like this:

Literal word for word: NKJV, ESV, NASB.
Somewhere in the middle: NIV.
Thought for Thought: NLT, the Message.
(By the way, our family has as much bibles as we have televisions and computers. We have at least one of every version listed above. Not suggesting we are pious, because quite frankly, we are far from that. In fact, the reason my Bible seems worn out is not because of over-use, but due to over-abuse. The Bible is a two-edged sword - quite literally)!

A new bible is kinda like a new car or a new toy. At first, even though the words are the same, the Bible seems to be that much more exciting. However, after reading for an extended period of time, your eyes start to hurt. Then your head hurts. Then the Bible does not seem so flashy anymore. Blemishes start to appear out of no where and you look over to your neighbor's Bible with the annotations and passage references. Momma mia, you think, time to get a new Bible. This happened to me after the first 12 hours of getting my ESV. However, I cherish the compact nature of the Bible even though the font is extremely small. (Now, I can sneak my ESV to class and start reading when the professor gets too boring, jk).

This brings up another issue. When you are the second youngest of four boys, everything you get is passed down. This passing down not only occurs with clothes, but with Bibles as well. Seems like almost all the Bibles I have owned were previously used by my brothers. The NLT used to be my oldest brother's. An NIV (until I lost it) used to be my bother's. The ESV I was using, I stole from my younger brother. Well, now I have one of my own ... I think I might sleep with it cuddled in my arms tonight. Man, this is getting to my head!