Without a doubt, stressed out.

The first two days of school have been somewhat stressful. I have discovered that I invest a lot into a project. Just with stepping into the emcee role at IV, I have found that I really worry quite a bit. The main issue does not really pertain to the amount of time I spend as opposed to my entire thought process going into planning for such things. When one's thoughts become consumed, their time soon follows. The main difficulty I have comes from the pressure of living up to the responsibilities that other people and God set before me. For example, what if I am not able to be as effective an emcee as those before me. An analogy that might make things more clear:

Let's say I am building a bird house (do not ask me how I thought of that). And when the bird house is complete, I am going to give the house to God as a gift. Do you realize that no matter how perfect I make the bird house, that gift will be a pile of crap compared to the majestic glory of God. Falling along the lines of emcee, no matter how funny or coherent I speak, my role of emcee is a load of crap compared to the majestic glory of God. I feel that no matter how good - or bad - I do as emcee, I will not be able to live up fully to the expectations of IV, other people, and in some ways to God. All in all, the fear of failing at my responsibility to the chapter and the people in the chapter plagues my soul. If you think about my apprehensions, many facets of my feelings are sinful.

I think the barrage of do-this and do-that have burdened me greatly. Do not get me wrong, this advice is valued, but sometimes I do not realize that failure is perfectly fine. I do not realize that occasionally saying something awkward or out of place is fine. Occasionally, forgetting to say something is fine. I have placed this burden of perfection around my neck and this weight drags me down.
Sin 1: Trying to work myself toward perfection.
Consequence: Stress.

Get a load of this cool passage:
Micah 6:6-8
6 “With what shall I come before the Lord,
and bow myself before God on high?
Shall I come before him with burnt offerings,
with calves a year old?
7 Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams,
with ten thousands of rivers of oil?
Shall I give my firstborn for my transgression,
the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?”
8 He has told you, O man, what is good;
and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God?

Wow. This totally blows away my perception of the things God really finds pleasure in. I was foolish to think that being funny, being profound, or saying mellifluous words was pleasing to God. Be just, love kindness, and walk humbly with God. The truth of the matter is that the bird house is, in fact, just a bunch of crap. Stop building the bird house by yourself. Come here, and let us be with each other and build the house together. I do not care if the house is slanted, I just want to have fun with you.
Sin 2: Trying to earn God's pleasure.
Consequence: Feeling like a failure.

Wow. I feel a lot better... =)