SLT Journal Entry: scenery and Wildlife

Here are some pictures I drew sitting in front of the recreation hall. The top on is of the water front. On the water front, there is a pier where the Floating Bear arrives to transfer people to the other side. There is also a small beach where the children spend most of there time while we are in morning session learning about "leadership". Apparently, there are leeches that float around in the lake. As in the picture, Sunfish sail boats and kayaks sit along the beach. I did not sail. I needed to pass a swim test in order to take out a Sunfish. If you don't know, I cannot swim.
I drew a picture of my foot and the various activities that are available while at SLT. My foot formed blisters and they were pretty much constantly filthy.


This is a seagull. They basically are more prevalent in the U.P. of Michigan than humans. Notice the downward slant of this bird's eyebrows. The like to gather in large flocks and come frighteningly close to you while you are eating. At Mackinac Island, they really like to swoop down and poop on you. One seagull got me in the shoe.
Next time you see one of these, do NOT feed this animal. Feeding the seagull will only promote the creature's annoying behavior of squawking for food. Instead, feed it a rock, throw a rock at it, or put a stick of dynamite in a hot dog bun and give the "hot dog" to the seagull.

The only creature probably more prevalent than the seagull is the mayfly. For a few days during SLT these insects land on the windows and walls looking for a mate. Apparently, they spend the majority of their lives in the water as larvae. Then they emerge out of the water for a few days, mate, and finally die. These insects are relatively harmless however - maybe except for the occasionally mating on the arm. My guess is that I've probably eaten about 10 buh-gillion while I've slept. They're probably from Canada.



I got impregnated twice while at SLT. The first time came as a huge surprise. One day, I noticed a huge bump on my forearm. It's hard to describe the emotions going through my mind, but they were a mixture between joy and anxiety. I wondered what kinda of creature lay under my skin. My appetite grew. I was eating for two now. I started craving all sorts of different winged foods that I did not normally eat.
The second time, the back of my right arm grew abnormally large. My knuckles eventually disappeared beneath my inflamed hand. I must have been carrying twins or something. Occationally, my hand would itch. I was the proud father of two strapping young mayflies. They eventually found mates and died.

There was also a porcupine name Oscar that hung around the campus for a while. There is even a song written by the Tri State Trio in honor of our beloved spiky friend. (More on the Tri State Trio here). He seemed very ill though. He couldn't climb trees and he would slowly avoid people in a very lethargic manner. I probably shouldn't have feed him all those ice cream sandwiches. I'm just joking, I ate them all for myself. Muahhahahahahahaha! Yes, my precious delicious goodies. Yes, all for me and none for all. Well, we eventually put him in a trash can and set him off in the woods to die peacefully if not violently. Awww, I kinda miss that cute, sick animal. I just want to rub my face against his jagged and sharp quills.

True Love

I think that one misconception of love is that people think love is a feeling. I think that to some degree - a very small one - love is that feeling in the heart, but I think most of that comes from a surge of hormones through the body. Love, for the most part, is not a "feeling". I believe that love is best exemplified through the conscious actions of the will. In order to truly love someone, they have to be willing to demonstrate it through self-sacrificial living. Also, many times I fall into the trap of wanting to naturally love someone. That our actions should be the natural outpouring of what we feel towards that person. I think that this kind of thinking can produce a lot of misconceptions of love. The first being that loving people that you love is easy. Through the example of Jesus, we come to realize that true love is hard to practice. The call to love one another is also the call to take up one's cross. Sometimes we have to "force" ourselves to exemplify love to those around us. After understanding the meaning and implications of love, we begin to realize that loving someone is contrary to our earthy nature. The world has perverted love and has made it into an impulsive feeling - rash and selfish. The only possible means of loving someone comes from the example and transforming power of Christ. We love because he loved us first. Sometimes we have to love someone not because we feel like loving them but simply because Jesus demands that of us. He asks us to love our enemies to return enmity with Christ's love. That is so contrary to human nature, to love those that hate you and that you hate. Now that's radical. Annoyed by your roommate? love him. Do you have enmity toward your parents? love them. Did someone betray your trust and break your heart? love them. Man, it sends chillls down the spine doesn't it?
Now I'm certainly not saying love means being taking advantage of. Love is being Christ to others. whether that means rebuking or even being taken advantage of, love places the self below all others. The fact that love demands such a surrendering makes practicing love so hard for me. I love being selfish. It's so much easier to do.
I think that for a long time I thought that life was easy for Jesus. That loving the prostitutes, tax collectors, and lepers was easy. Now, I'm realizing that Jesus lived the most difficult life in all history. I'm sure that loving those that society hated and even loving those that hated him was extremely hard. Accepting the cross was hard. We are called to do likewise. Thankfully not by ourselves, but through the power of the only person who was able to do such things, Jesus Christ.
What is true love? Ture love is choosing to exempify the self-sacrificial life of Christ even when you don't feel like loving someone and when the world tells you differently. Love is being Christ to others even if you don't feel like it. I think that true Christianity is best exemplified through suffering. Just look at the world around you - the church at large. God moves during persecution. The richness of worship arrives when worship is hard. The fullness of love arrives when loving is difficult. The refinement of Christians arrives when being christian is difficult. Sacrifice simply isn't sacrifice until it cost something, until our hearts ache because we realise God demands our entire lives. I cringe as I write this because of the implications of what I am saying. Instead of seeking the path of least resistance, the fullness of Christ can sometimes only be experienced through the most difficult path.
I praise God. The Christian life is hard, but God is there to sustain. The Christian life is difficult, but it is the best and only life to live. God demands all because he wishes to give us all. God, give me the strength to love when I don't feel like it. Slowly change me so that my nature will become as yours. Kill me, so that you can live in me. That eventually, I will love as you love. Amen.

The Return Home

It's kinda weird returning home to a much quieter and emptier house. My return home meal consisted of a bunch of double stuffed Oreos, a microwaved piece of pizza, and a can of lukewarm coke. Kinda depressing isn't it? Well it feels that way. I'm experiencing what they call re-entry syndrome. Where the body and mind are both weak and prone to spiritual attack. In fact, I can feel a lot of spiritual attack coming on already. I just want to roll up into a cacoon and never emerge. However, I long to see many beloved friends and family to see how God has been working in their lives and share about what God has been teaching me at the UP of Michigan.

What I came back with:
1. A wealth of equiping for God's kingdom
2. Renewed vision and encouragement
3. A big realization of my pride, shame, and selfishness
4. A fuller perspective on God's kingdom and where I stand in that
5. Fond memorizes and cherished relationships
6. A nice farmer's tan
7. A piece of drift wood
8. A whole lot of dirty laundry
9. A whole lot of things I still have to deal with
10. A call to live a much risker life for God

In depth stuff and maybe some pictures later.

Wedding

Here is a picture of the Bride and Groom (they are so adorable). :

This is a picture of the Tsu clan with Grandma and Grandpa:

(I think me and my dad are eyeing the wedding cake). Just joking. There were a lot of cameras that fateful day.

Here is a picture of some of the extended family from my mom's side:

(Thanks Christine for the wonderful pictures)!

College

The weeks are getting busier and busier. Monday evening is small group. Tuesdays, frisbee. Wednesdays, prayer meeting. Thrusdays, large group. And Fridays, usually large groups. I hope that you summer is going rather splendidly, esspecially for those entering into college. I think that it's wonderful to see so many seniors so excited about going to college, finding independance, and finding fun. However, I think that many are naive to the whole cultural atmosphere that surrounds the campus life. College is a time where people are left to do whatever they want with little concern for accountability. What many people do not realize is that when left on their own, people will naturally sin. I can certainly attest to that. My heart breaks when I see kids decide to put God on hiatus for four years and eventually fall into a lost, and lifeless lifestyle. My heart rejoices when I see a kid join a community and becomes on fire for Christ. That is my prayer, to see people choose to run after God. So cool!

So here's a few things I've learned so far in college:

1) Join a Christian fellowship. There's nothing like community, accountability, and encouragement to spur on living life for Christ.

2) College is not about you. I find that college is much more fun when the decisions you make are not for you, but for God. The degree you're earning? The long nights studying? The friendships? The fun? Remember that everything you do is for a greater purpose than yourself. I find that making decisions for God and not for yourself makes things that much more purposeful (and let's face it, a little bit more exciting).

3) For the Asian engineer: Relax. Study hard and diligently, but remember friendships are more inportant than school. That's right. I said it. And don't freak out even after you have taken a test! The test is already turned in, you can't do anything about it anymore! Also, don't play too many computer games.

Tangent: playing too much computer games is similar to some mind-altering drug. Reality is not reality anymore. You eventually start dreaming about it, you eventually start believing that there is someone waiting around the corner to kill you. I once played through Halo 2 with my roommate in 2 days. My head felt like it was in a vice. My neck was strained and I was nauseated. When I closed my eyes, I saw the glow of the television screen.

4) Join a Christian fellowship. Be invested in a community of believers and influence the world around you.

Summer

Summer

Table of Contents:

Tuesday night frisbee
Witness 724
Dry cleaners
Wedding
Evangelism
Prayer
SLT
Struggling
Persevering
Lost and Found
Broken and Waiting
God at Work

So far this summer has been hard. What is summer to me? Summer is a time when you have to face up and deal with the past. You can't hide away at college. Summer is a time when you have to encounter places of brokeness and sin, places where you thought you had left long ago. Summer is a time when you are left isolated from the accountability of a community which was readily around you during college. Summer is a time between you and God. Just you and God. Summer is a time of realization. A realization of just how broken you still are, and a realization that God is still tenderly putting you back together one painful piece at a time. You realize just how sinful you are. However, you also realize just how gracious God is. Summer is a period of questioning. A time to question where you have come from, where you stand, and where God is leading you. For me, summer is a crucible for the coming semester.
I feel that you get to think a lot more during the summer. You also get a lot more alone time. Alone time is one of the best tests to see exactly what kind of person you are. What do you do when no one is watching and no one is there to keep you accountable? Do you watch TV instead of pray. Do you think about God or do you give into lustful desire? Do you crave earthly food instead of spiritual nourishment? Painfully, God has revealed to me who I actually am. Fortunately, God has also revealed to me who he actually is. Praised be to God for his grace of loving such a person as I.

Have a fun summer.

The Weaker Brother

I must say that Romans stands as a very rich text full of great spiritual treasures. We studied Romans the other day and went into the passage about causing others to stumble. What really stuck me was Christ’s call to complete and utter selflessness. I think that many times I too often consider my sin against God while neglecting my sin against other people. God really convicted me that the Christian life does not center on my needs. In fact, Christianity centers on Christ and the notion of servitude. So many times, the decisions I make are based on what I want, my needs, and my desires. And many times, I distort and manipulate the will of God into my own selfishness and call such a thing “following God’s will”. On the other hand, sometimes I judge others in their exercise of a liberty that they most certainly have under the cross of Christ. Especially being raised in the church and having my conservative slant, sometimes I judge other Christians for certain liberties they take. For example, the issue of drinking stands as something that fuels contention in the Christian body and in my life. Here’s my slant on drinking (I might sound hypocritical and judgmental):

A clear distinction that should be made is that drinking has different cultural connotations. A stigma surrounding alcohol in Europe may be completely different than one in the United States. I am sharing my stance from my cultural perspective and my own convictions. (Wow, there are a lot of my words in that statement). Anyways, I confess that many times I look down on Christians who engage in drinking. I also confess that I have tasted alcohol before. I use taste, because I have never drunk anything more than to get a taste. One of the reasons I have such negative feeling for alcohol stems from the testimonies of my high school football coaches. My sophomore football coach’s brother was killed by a drunk driver. Every prom, my coach would go around the local high schools telling his story of tragic loss. From his story, one could see the heartbreak that my coach had and still has from the affects of alcohol. My varsity coach has also experienced the scars from alcoholism. His grandfather basically died from his addiction and bondage to alcohol. As a result of his witness to his grandfather’s tragedy, my coach has made a vow of never drinking alcohol for the rest of his life. I sometimes get frustrated when I see Christians drink simply because they have the liberty to do so, and I acknowledge that having that kind of attitude of condescension is a sin. I can definitely say that in this situation, I am the weaker brother. However, the reason of “just because I can” makes for an extremely week argument. And if their reasoning is to make me stronger, maybe they should read the Romans passage. Okay, I’m getting judgmental and angry now… whew, sorry. On that note, I must say that I admire the strength and courage of our brothers and sisters in the Greek system. I think that the Greek system is a completely different cultural environment where drinking is almost a norm. To have the courage to be a light in an atmosphere of darkness truly exemplifies the character of Christ. I truly think the Greek Chapter really model’s Jesus’ example of reaching out to a segment of society that has a pretty bad connotation in the Christian community. Who knows the future? Maybe when I become of legal age, I might decide to occasionally drink alcohol. I simply cannot say. I realize that my attitude of complete abstinence to alcohol is a stance that is weak, flawed, and hypocritical. Hopefully, God will slowly take away my legalism and judgmental condensation.

Another issue that I had to deal with was the liberty of watching certain television shows. I think that not having a television this year was a real blessing for my spiritual life. I did not have the opportunity to waste too much time on television and I did not have as much opportunity to fill my heart with lust, perversion, and selfishness. I really thank God for teaching me the value of giving up some that I enjoyed because it was challenging my relationship with God. Actually, one issue that I had to deal with pertained to the show, Family Guy. Now, I know that many people like to watch the show and find the comedy pretty humorous. I also find the show extremely humorous as well and I think that Family Guy is a pretty well produced cartoon. Many people may think: what a square, but this was something that I was dealing with and still am. I mean I really enjoyed the show, but I also realized that a lot of the humor had underlying tones of sexuality in addition to other things. I remember this one memory where my non-Christian friends made a casual jibe at the fact that I occasionally saw Family Guy. This really questioned my witness to people around me. I also found myself laughing at sometimes very off-color jokes which stirred in my conscious. I battled and struggled with giving up something that I really enjoyed. God finally had to completely remove the television from my room so that I did not have the temptation to view something that stirred up my conscious. Honesty, if I had a television this year, I definitely would have viewed many questionable shows on television.

I also think that viewing risqué images in movies during a “Christian” hang-out stands on unstable ground as well. What many people do not like to acknowledge, male and female, is that Christian males struggle with issue of lust all the time. Images and sounds trigger thoughts and open up much vulnerability into the mind. Maybe some people are mature enough to guard their hearts against sexually suggestive images, I certainly am not. For that reason, I do not really enjoy watching movies in groups of people. A lot of times I wish that I could say that I am mature enough to view an attractive female on screen with utmost purity. However, I honestly admit that I cannot the majority of the time. A lot of times I just have to look away, because I know that in a private setting, I would most definitely be extremely tempted to fall into sin (and many times, I will). I’m always fearful whenever questionable content flashes on the screen, especially in a group of Christian friends. Do I look away and have people think I am an immature square who shrieks at the sight of any exposure of flesh? Or do I put up an air of “maturity” and fill my heart with all sorts of lustful desire? Do I admit my sinful vulnerabilities to lustful thought and miss out on a social gathering of friends? Or do I “tough it out” and pretend that images do not affect that way I think? Watching movies certainly is not a sin. Many times movies are a powerful medium which stirs up debate. Many times I should not divert my eyes away from the sinfulness of the world and of my very own soul. I certainly cannot ignore images just because they stir up uneasiness. I am the weaker brother in so many things. Sometimes I wish I did not look down on others that drink; sometimes I wish I did not enjoy crass jokes; sometimes I wish I did not have such vulnerabilities to lust; sometimes I wonder why I am such a hypocrite. I am the weaker brother.

Freedom Indeed

When I see people engaging in a self-driven, self-fulfilling life style and when I look at my own life of apparent restraint and depravity, I sometimes wonder what the implications of the freedom offered through Christ truly entail. If the church is telling us not to do this and that, if I am bound by rules and regulations as a Christian, how can I claim to live a truly free life? Non-Christians see the seemingly restrained lifestyle of Christians around them and see a life of depravity and impotency to pleasure. They see the denial of one’s inborn desires and pleasures for the exchange of a drab ideal and confined way of living. While in some ways, Christ calls us to surrender the self and to deny our sinful desires, one must realize that Christianity is not the denial of one’s inborn desires and pleasures; Christ brings about the true fulfillment of who we really are and what we all long for. Christ did not come to take away. Instead, he came to fulfill and complete our previously deprived lives. I say embrace your God given desires and pleasures with that of what Christ offers. God made us to desire appreciation, self-worth, enjoyment, comfort, and fulfillment. I say come to the cross and be truly filled and satisfied to overflowing. True depravity comes when we fill those innate needs with things of this world, with things that will perish. Depravity occurs when we earn the appreciation of the entire world, but miss out on the loving and eternal appreciation of our heavenly Father. I certainly do not think we should be guilty for having the desire for someone to tell us we are attractive. We certainly should not be ashamed to acknowledge our desire for acceptance and adoration. We certainly should not be ashamed of our desire for applause and accolades. These things are part of the nature with which God has created us to have. True depravity occurs when we fulfill those things with what the world offers when God offers complete and utter fulfillment. Jesus finds you so beautiful and worthwhile that he hung on a shameful tree, was beaten, was spit on, and traversed the torturous route of hell. C.S. Lewis was right when he claimed humans to be too easily satisfied with mud-pies in the slums when a vacation waits at the beach. I say embrace your core desires and wants with the fulfillment of the abundant life offered through Christ. God does not want us to merely have fun; he wants us to have complete utter exuberance. God wants us to become who he truly created us to be.

I wonder why my body rages within me, my sinful nature versus my spiritual nature. After realizing the true fulfillment of Christ, why do I still seek to fulfill my desire with things of this world? I think that for humans, we find life easier to think of in the immediate. The immediate stands so much more clear and concrete than the future. We strive for what we see instead of striving for what is invisible. Both are there, but we long for physical food rather than spiritual food. The world offers fast-food, God offers time-intensive five-star cuisine. Our innate hunger for fulfillment causes us to settle for short-lived, unhealthy nourishment when God offers eternal nourishment. In the midst of temptation, one truth I hold on to is that God offers pleasures far greater than the immediate gratification of the world. I do not deny the pleasure of sin, but I try to remember the greatest pleasures that God offers. Would I trade God’s best for immediate placation and pay the consequences later? Or shall I store up treasures immeasurable in heaven? If you think about it, sin is getting the payout now then paying the consequences later, while on the other hand, God lets us wait for a time, and then pays out later. I use the term wait because the gifts that God gives are not earned, they are merely received or exchanged. They are either received with the utmost heart of thanksgiving and sincerity or they are exchanged for temporary treasure. That being said, I confess that I trade alabaster jars for broken clay pots all the time. Life is God’s training ground, his refining kiln. He changes me day by day to become more in his likeness. That is one of the precious gifts God graciously gives: life transformation. He transforms my old, decaying shell into that of a living child of God. He burns always the old self and brings to life the new.

The refreshing freedom of Christ fills our lungs after a lifetime of drowning in our depravity. We are no long bound to the law of sin but that of faith. I think that true freedom happens when someone decides to disregard immediate pleasure and breaks free from the bondage of humanistic hedonism. We are no long bound by our animalistic instincts to fill our bellies, to dominate the world, or to become indulgent in our sexual impulses. We are no long bound to the culture and lies of this world. Sexual revolution and freedom happens when someone says I will not give my body but to my wife. Revolution happens when someone says I will not settle for wine but of the new wine of God’s covenant and the living water of Jesus Christ. Jesus proclaims freedom to the ways of this world.

For the Christian, they are given the option to sin or to follow God. For the non-Christian, who does not yet know the way of life, every decision is a non-decision for sin. Freedom comes from choice. Since we are not bound to sin, when the Christian sins, their new life is not removed. I truly believe sin will never cause one to lose their Christianity because they live by the law of faith and not of sin. What brings someone to a renewed life is faith. Life is a gift from God that he will not give and then take back. However, as Paul says, we shall not sin more so that God’s grace abounds. For even though we no long live by the law of sin, we still live by one of faith. Life is a choice to be made and a relationship to be pursued. Life is a transformation of the will and of our pleasure. Eventually, we realize that only at the foot of the cross can we find freedom from the shame of sin and fulfillment with the grace of God. When someone is born again, their spirit is literally born again into life. God begins to grow and transform their new life. Slowly, our will becomes that of what God has for us. Slowly, we become who God intended us to be. Have you ever wondered whether there was something more to this meaningless cycle of pain and hurt? There is. We truly do not belong to the current world we live in; Eden is somewhere out there and the garden is lush and plentiful. The fountain of youth, the unified theory of everything exists. They came to us in the form of God’s beloved son. No shame, no guilt, no emptiness. Freedom. Jesus.

Getting Wet

Today's downpour of rain was truely a refreshment for the soul. As I was walking back and forth from class God told me a few things that really lifted my soul. As the sweet rain fell on my head, I realized that this downpour sybolizes the redemption and blessings God so graciously gives to his people. He not only washes away our sin, but he wants to bless his people. I hope with faith that this is the desire of God for the campus. To wash away the sins and brokenness that permeates the grounds of this campus; then to pour out his unending blessing until they cover this entire campus. I truely believe that the rain was a symbol of God's heart and desire for the people on this campus. Almost a reminder of God's plan of redemptive restoration.

The rain also reminded me of God's faithfulness in all seasons of my life. Just like Isreal encountered years of drought during Elisha's time, so do I ever so often. The rain reminded me that the desert place is only the foreshadow of the times of refreshing rain. The downpour reminded me that seasons of the soul will change, and that for me, God is going to change the season. I wonder how greatly the Isrealites celebrated when the clouds finally poured down rain. I look at myself and wonder how greatly do I celebrate when God pours not only his physical rains, but his spritual rains every single day.

Lastly, I realized that many times people are afraid of getting wet ( I can certainly say I am afraid so many times). But as I was walking in the soaking rain, I realized that if God is going to make you wet, you mind as well go all out! If God is going to pour down buckets of rain, why carry an umbrella to stay dry from God's downpour. Instead, why not get as wet as possible. Now, I'm not talking about the physical, hopefully as you may discern. Instead, I'm talking about the countless times God pours down his blessings as well as his trials and the countless times I put up my umbrella. If God's gonna make me wet, I mine as well go all in.

Sometimes...

Sometimes you got to be alone. You and God.