The Weaker Brother

I must say that Romans stands as a very rich text full of great spiritual treasures. We studied Romans the other day and went into the passage about causing others to stumble. What really stuck me was Christ’s call to complete and utter selflessness. I think that many times I too often consider my sin against God while neglecting my sin against other people. God really convicted me that the Christian life does not center on my needs. In fact, Christianity centers on Christ and the notion of servitude. So many times, the decisions I make are based on what I want, my needs, and my desires. And many times, I distort and manipulate the will of God into my own selfishness and call such a thing “following God’s will”. On the other hand, sometimes I judge others in their exercise of a liberty that they most certainly have under the cross of Christ. Especially being raised in the church and having my conservative slant, sometimes I judge other Christians for certain liberties they take. For example, the issue of drinking stands as something that fuels contention in the Christian body and in my life. Here’s my slant on drinking (I might sound hypocritical and judgmental):

A clear distinction that should be made is that drinking has different cultural connotations. A stigma surrounding alcohol in Europe may be completely different than one in the United States. I am sharing my stance from my cultural perspective and my own convictions. (Wow, there are a lot of my words in that statement). Anyways, I confess that many times I look down on Christians who engage in drinking. I also confess that I have tasted alcohol before. I use taste, because I have never drunk anything more than to get a taste. One of the reasons I have such negative feeling for alcohol stems from the testimonies of my high school football coaches. My sophomore football coach’s brother was killed by a drunk driver. Every prom, my coach would go around the local high schools telling his story of tragic loss. From his story, one could see the heartbreak that my coach had and still has from the affects of alcohol. My varsity coach has also experienced the scars from alcoholism. His grandfather basically died from his addiction and bondage to alcohol. As a result of his witness to his grandfather’s tragedy, my coach has made a vow of never drinking alcohol for the rest of his life. I sometimes get frustrated when I see Christians drink simply because they have the liberty to do so, and I acknowledge that having that kind of attitude of condescension is a sin. I can definitely say that in this situation, I am the weaker brother. However, the reason of “just because I can” makes for an extremely week argument. And if their reasoning is to make me stronger, maybe they should read the Romans passage. Okay, I’m getting judgmental and angry now… whew, sorry. On that note, I must say that I admire the strength and courage of our brothers and sisters in the Greek system. I think that the Greek system is a completely different cultural environment where drinking is almost a norm. To have the courage to be a light in an atmosphere of darkness truly exemplifies the character of Christ. I truly think the Greek Chapter really model’s Jesus’ example of reaching out to a segment of society that has a pretty bad connotation in the Christian community. Who knows the future? Maybe when I become of legal age, I might decide to occasionally drink alcohol. I simply cannot say. I realize that my attitude of complete abstinence to alcohol is a stance that is weak, flawed, and hypocritical. Hopefully, God will slowly take away my legalism and judgmental condensation.

Another issue that I had to deal with was the liberty of watching certain television shows. I think that not having a television this year was a real blessing for my spiritual life. I did not have the opportunity to waste too much time on television and I did not have as much opportunity to fill my heart with lust, perversion, and selfishness. I really thank God for teaching me the value of giving up some that I enjoyed because it was challenging my relationship with God. Actually, one issue that I had to deal with pertained to the show, Family Guy. Now, I know that many people like to watch the show and find the comedy pretty humorous. I also find the show extremely humorous as well and I think that Family Guy is a pretty well produced cartoon. Many people may think: what a square, but this was something that I was dealing with and still am. I mean I really enjoyed the show, but I also realized that a lot of the humor had underlying tones of sexuality in addition to other things. I remember this one memory where my non-Christian friends made a casual jibe at the fact that I occasionally saw Family Guy. This really questioned my witness to people around me. I also found myself laughing at sometimes very off-color jokes which stirred in my conscious. I battled and struggled with giving up something that I really enjoyed. God finally had to completely remove the television from my room so that I did not have the temptation to view something that stirred up my conscious. Honesty, if I had a television this year, I definitely would have viewed many questionable shows on television.

I also think that viewing risqué images in movies during a “Christian” hang-out stands on unstable ground as well. What many people do not like to acknowledge, male and female, is that Christian males struggle with issue of lust all the time. Images and sounds trigger thoughts and open up much vulnerability into the mind. Maybe some people are mature enough to guard their hearts against sexually suggestive images, I certainly am not. For that reason, I do not really enjoy watching movies in groups of people. A lot of times I wish that I could say that I am mature enough to view an attractive female on screen with utmost purity. However, I honestly admit that I cannot the majority of the time. A lot of times I just have to look away, because I know that in a private setting, I would most definitely be extremely tempted to fall into sin (and many times, I will). I’m always fearful whenever questionable content flashes on the screen, especially in a group of Christian friends. Do I look away and have people think I am an immature square who shrieks at the sight of any exposure of flesh? Or do I put up an air of “maturity” and fill my heart with all sorts of lustful desire? Do I admit my sinful vulnerabilities to lustful thought and miss out on a social gathering of friends? Or do I “tough it out” and pretend that images do not affect that way I think? Watching movies certainly is not a sin. Many times movies are a powerful medium which stirs up debate. Many times I should not divert my eyes away from the sinfulness of the world and of my very own soul. I certainly cannot ignore images just because they stir up uneasiness. I am the weaker brother in so many things. Sometimes I wish I did not look down on others that drink; sometimes I wish I did not enjoy crass jokes; sometimes I wish I did not have such vulnerabilities to lust; sometimes I wonder why I am such a hypocrite. I am the weaker brother.

Freedom Indeed

When I see people engaging in a self-driven, self-fulfilling life style and when I look at my own life of apparent restraint and depravity, I sometimes wonder what the implications of the freedom offered through Christ truly entail. If the church is telling us not to do this and that, if I am bound by rules and regulations as a Christian, how can I claim to live a truly free life? Non-Christians see the seemingly restrained lifestyle of Christians around them and see a life of depravity and impotency to pleasure. They see the denial of one’s inborn desires and pleasures for the exchange of a drab ideal and confined way of living. While in some ways, Christ calls us to surrender the self and to deny our sinful desires, one must realize that Christianity is not the denial of one’s inborn desires and pleasures; Christ brings about the true fulfillment of who we really are and what we all long for. Christ did not come to take away. Instead, he came to fulfill and complete our previously deprived lives. I say embrace your God given desires and pleasures with that of what Christ offers. God made us to desire appreciation, self-worth, enjoyment, comfort, and fulfillment. I say come to the cross and be truly filled and satisfied to overflowing. True depravity comes when we fill those innate needs with things of this world, with things that will perish. Depravity occurs when we earn the appreciation of the entire world, but miss out on the loving and eternal appreciation of our heavenly Father. I certainly do not think we should be guilty for having the desire for someone to tell us we are attractive. We certainly should not be ashamed to acknowledge our desire for acceptance and adoration. We certainly should not be ashamed of our desire for applause and accolades. These things are part of the nature with which God has created us to have. True depravity occurs when we fulfill those things with what the world offers when God offers complete and utter fulfillment. Jesus finds you so beautiful and worthwhile that he hung on a shameful tree, was beaten, was spit on, and traversed the torturous route of hell. C.S. Lewis was right when he claimed humans to be too easily satisfied with mud-pies in the slums when a vacation waits at the beach. I say embrace your core desires and wants with the fulfillment of the abundant life offered through Christ. God does not want us to merely have fun; he wants us to have complete utter exuberance. God wants us to become who he truly created us to be.

I wonder why my body rages within me, my sinful nature versus my spiritual nature. After realizing the true fulfillment of Christ, why do I still seek to fulfill my desire with things of this world? I think that for humans, we find life easier to think of in the immediate. The immediate stands so much more clear and concrete than the future. We strive for what we see instead of striving for what is invisible. Both are there, but we long for physical food rather than spiritual food. The world offers fast-food, God offers time-intensive five-star cuisine. Our innate hunger for fulfillment causes us to settle for short-lived, unhealthy nourishment when God offers eternal nourishment. In the midst of temptation, one truth I hold on to is that God offers pleasures far greater than the immediate gratification of the world. I do not deny the pleasure of sin, but I try to remember the greatest pleasures that God offers. Would I trade God’s best for immediate placation and pay the consequences later? Or shall I store up treasures immeasurable in heaven? If you think about it, sin is getting the payout now then paying the consequences later, while on the other hand, God lets us wait for a time, and then pays out later. I use the term wait because the gifts that God gives are not earned, they are merely received or exchanged. They are either received with the utmost heart of thanksgiving and sincerity or they are exchanged for temporary treasure. That being said, I confess that I trade alabaster jars for broken clay pots all the time. Life is God’s training ground, his refining kiln. He changes me day by day to become more in his likeness. That is one of the precious gifts God graciously gives: life transformation. He transforms my old, decaying shell into that of a living child of God. He burns always the old self and brings to life the new.

The refreshing freedom of Christ fills our lungs after a lifetime of drowning in our depravity. We are no long bound to the law of sin but that of faith. I think that true freedom happens when someone decides to disregard immediate pleasure and breaks free from the bondage of humanistic hedonism. We are no long bound by our animalistic instincts to fill our bellies, to dominate the world, or to become indulgent in our sexual impulses. We are no long bound to the culture and lies of this world. Sexual revolution and freedom happens when someone says I will not give my body but to my wife. Revolution happens when someone says I will not settle for wine but of the new wine of God’s covenant and the living water of Jesus Christ. Jesus proclaims freedom to the ways of this world.

For the Christian, they are given the option to sin or to follow God. For the non-Christian, who does not yet know the way of life, every decision is a non-decision for sin. Freedom comes from choice. Since we are not bound to sin, when the Christian sins, their new life is not removed. I truly believe sin will never cause one to lose their Christianity because they live by the law of faith and not of sin. What brings someone to a renewed life is faith. Life is a gift from God that he will not give and then take back. However, as Paul says, we shall not sin more so that God’s grace abounds. For even though we no long live by the law of sin, we still live by one of faith. Life is a choice to be made and a relationship to be pursued. Life is a transformation of the will and of our pleasure. Eventually, we realize that only at the foot of the cross can we find freedom from the shame of sin and fulfillment with the grace of God. When someone is born again, their spirit is literally born again into life. God begins to grow and transform their new life. Slowly, our will becomes that of what God has for us. Slowly, we become who God intended us to be. Have you ever wondered whether there was something more to this meaningless cycle of pain and hurt? There is. We truly do not belong to the current world we live in; Eden is somewhere out there and the garden is lush and plentiful. The fountain of youth, the unified theory of everything exists. They came to us in the form of God’s beloved son. No shame, no guilt, no emptiness. Freedom. Jesus.

Getting Wet

Today's downpour of rain was truely a refreshment for the soul. As I was walking back and forth from class God told me a few things that really lifted my soul. As the sweet rain fell on my head, I realized that this downpour sybolizes the redemption and blessings God so graciously gives to his people. He not only washes away our sin, but he wants to bless his people. I hope with faith that this is the desire of God for the campus. To wash away the sins and brokenness that permeates the grounds of this campus; then to pour out his unending blessing until they cover this entire campus. I truely believe that the rain was a symbol of God's heart and desire for the people on this campus. Almost a reminder of God's plan of redemptive restoration.

The rain also reminded me of God's faithfulness in all seasons of my life. Just like Isreal encountered years of drought during Elisha's time, so do I ever so often. The rain reminded me that the desert place is only the foreshadow of the times of refreshing rain. The downpour reminded me that seasons of the soul will change, and that for me, God is going to change the season. I wonder how greatly the Isrealites celebrated when the clouds finally poured down rain. I look at myself and wonder how greatly do I celebrate when God pours not only his physical rains, but his spritual rains every single day.

Lastly, I realized that many times people are afraid of getting wet ( I can certainly say I am afraid so many times). But as I was walking in the soaking rain, I realized that if God is going to make you wet, you mind as well go all out! If God is going to pour down buckets of rain, why carry an umbrella to stay dry from God's downpour. Instead, why not get as wet as possible. Now, I'm not talking about the physical, hopefully as you may discern. Instead, I'm talking about the countless times God pours down his blessings as well as his trials and the countless times I put up my umbrella. If God's gonna make me wet, I mine as well go all in.

Sometimes...

Sometimes you got to be alone. You and God.

Why I am now doing Lent

When Lent started I never really felt a need to give up anything. I felt that the spirit behind the act of abstaining from something for 40 days was not genuine. My line of reasoning was that people placed too much value on the act instead of on the heart of the matter. After all, we are called to give our entire lives to Christ. I also dislike conforming to a particular trend that everyone else does. Besides, the term Lent, I believe, cannot be found anywhere in the Bible. My reasoning was that Lent was not particularly biblical so why bother.

However, as time passed, the meaning behind Lent was slowly revealed by God to me. In a profound e-mail sent by my youth director, God really convicted me of the sacrifices Jesus had to make on earth. I discovered that Lent was a parallelism to the forty days Jesus spent in the desert. And God, being the the loving God that he is, convicted me of my own attitudes, not exclusively on Lent, but on my entire attitude toward physical deprivation for spiritual renewal such as fasting. I realized that what really prevented me from acknowledging the practice of Lent was my pride and selfishness. My pride in the fact that I did not want to do something that everyone else was doing, and my selfishness in that I did not want to give up something that I enjoy immensely. Boy, how God is awesome in his ways! Finally, I resolved to participate in Lent despite missing out on the first week and a half. Knowing myself, accidentally breaking my vows is a pressing and very real concern that I have. Mainly, because I so easily forget the promises and vows that I make to God. Therefore here are some guidelines I have made for myself going into Lent:

1) Lent is meant to help me better realize the sacrifice that Jesus made. I cannot even begin to realize the shear weight of God's ultimate sacrifice, but Lent is an opportunity to experience and model the life of Jesus.

2) Physical deprivation means nothing without spiritual reliance on God. Lent is for the glory of God, not the glory of man. May lent be an opportunity to praise and pray.

3) I also hope that Lent will help me appreciate the gracious blessings of God. I can only give up what God has so graciously given to me. Also, with eager anticipation I await the day of our risen LORD. These forty days of deprivation eventually will lead to an eager anticipation for the joyful celebration of our risen LORD this Easter.

So what did I give up? I decided to do the traditional catholic practice of giving up meat for this Lent. I wanted my sacrifice to be something that was somewhat difficult and to be something that I enjoy (eating vast amounts of meat). Therefore, I have decided to abstain from meat, excluding seafood, for the LORD. May every opportunity I crave meat be an opportunity to worship, praise, and thank God for the ultimate sacrifice he made. May these forty days be a time of reflection and meditation on things which are distracting me from God. I pray that God will bring me to full reliance on him and that he will guard my mouth and my heart.

The Current Season

I am in this depressive funk and I do not know why. Do you ever feel that the life you are living is meaningless and wasted? I examine my life and I am convicted through and through of my selfishness. Everyday seems like a day devoted to promote my interests rather than that of God’s interest. Maybe the sickness is running rampant on my mind or maybe the stresses of school have eaten away at my nerve endings. Who knows but God. There is one thing that I know. God is trying to tell me something, and I am not willing to listen to his tender, guiding voice.

Every single day opportunity passes by. Everyday, I hurt someone. Everyday, I go to bed the same way I woke up. Life consists of a series of increasing microcosms of itself. Everyday we wake up, live out our day, then go to sleep. Every week, we drudge through Monday, get by the weekday, and party on the weekends only to start over again. For our lives, we build our dreams, experience life, and finally return to the dust of the earth. How sad to think that our everyday reflects the course of our entire lives. All I am saying is that if my everyday is in anyway a precursor to my entire life, I am in trouble.

I think about the disciples in the Garden while Jesus prayed in agony. Multiple times Jesus prayed and every single time, the disciples fell asleep. They fell into a spiritual slumber that led to spiritual blindness. The events that were about to transpire over the next 24 hours would shake the foundations of the world, mankind, and the heavenly realms. The disciples were about to witness and take part in an event that all of history was leading up to. Yet, they were sleeping. The disciples were caught up in the short-sighted realm of the seen rather then the eternal realm of the unseen. If they only knew about the events that were about to transpire – Peter’s denial, Jesus’ eternal atonement of the sins of mankind, the fulfillment of God’s covenant with Abraham – they would not have dared close their eyes to get the least bit of rest. Nevertheless, sleep, to them was of the most pressing of concerns.

Regrettably, I must admit that I have fallen into a similar state of spiritual slumber. So many times I forget to realize that today is a day of spiritual breakthrough, and I have fallen. Today is the day when God will unveil an unleashing of his glory that has been building on the faithful prayer of countless followers for a countless amount of years. Maybe today is the day when God will fulfill a promise he made thousands of generations ago. Maybe today people will be set free. Today, people will be healed. Today, nations will fall at the throne of God Almighty. I never fully grasp this, but around this world, people are finding a new life in Christ. People are crying out for Christ and God’s kingdom constantly makes itself known. I think that one reason for my depressed state is that I have stopped expecting God to do big things. When I realize my sinful state of things, my soul becomes sad and my heart breaks. I am starting to worry about my career, my money, my feelings, and my ambitions. When, first off, these things are not mine to begin with. And secondly, I am such a small drop in the grand scheme of God’s kingdom. I know that God calls me to greater aspirations than what I am settling for now.

I sound so bad when I say that, in the grand scheme of things, school does not matter. Do not get me wrong, I certainly do not think that school work should be neglected. And most certainly, what I learn now will help open doors for God’s kingdom in the future. All I am saying is that there must be something greater, and while doing school work I forget to realize that God is ever present and using the drudgery of school work to do great things for his kingdom. I have not the clearest idea of what that is, nor have I fully grasped this ideal. But, I know deep in my heart, with utmost conviction, that there must be something greater than what I am able to see or grasp. My heart aches and yearns for something greater than this life. Have I forgotten that everyday is an opportunity for me to build upon the kingdom of God. That every day is an opportunity to invest in something far more immense than I could ever accomplish on my own? That is my fear: That I will desire a good job, a good wife, good kids, a good home, and a good retirement, and die remembered as a man who lived a good life. I wish that all I want is to live for a good God. Sadly, that is not the case. Man, such desires are so easy especially when God has so graciously blessed me with growing up in such a situation as I am in now. I want to live for Christ, but what does that look like and why is it so hard? I wish I could express the shear amount of frustration that perplexes my mind. Only God knows and only God can resolve this problem. Only with faith do I know that God loves his children and slowly transform them into who he intended them to be. I may not be there. I may not even have the desire to be there. But only with humble surrender does God bring us close to him. This is the season of my soul. Praise be to God.

***

After I posted this, I realized that a lot of what I wrote was me venting about myself. Honestly, I have to give God all the glory for sustaining me and being such a gracious and faithful God. After I posted this blog entry, I realized that a lot of the word were about me and not a lot of the words talked about the unsurpassing awesomeness of God's character. Anyways, what sustains me through this season is that fact that I know that God's grace is enough and the he loves his children. I remember walking back home alone in the cold feeling discouraged and trying to cling to the promises of God (though, at the moment believing in God's good will was difficult). Nonetheless, just trying to grasp on to some sort of solid reassurance was just enough to get me back home. God gave me just enough grace to keep me going. For that, I thank God and I praise him that season's come and go, but God remains the same. God is my rock and my redeemer. Praise be to the LORD my God forever and ever.

Faith and Fear

I believe that God finds just as much delight in someone who tries a task which they are not talented in as to a talented somebody who does something without the slightest hesitation. God delights in steps of faith just as a parent finds utmost joy when their child walks for the first time. Even though the hesitant first steps are clumsy and wobbly, they are steps that will be forever cherished in a parent's heart. God prods us to take wobbly steps of faith while standing ready to catch us when we stumble. On the other hand, I believe that God also finds delight in those that use the talents he has so graciously given. A parent not only delights in the clumsy first steps, they also delight in watching their child perform graciously at a dance recital or skillfully at a track race.

So many times, I have torn myself up because I have felt awkward and uncoordinated in my steps of faith. The first small group which I led was filled with countless instances of awkwardness and failure. Who am I to say that God is not able to use my failures for his glory? Am I so powerful as to displace the soverign will of God? Certainly not.

Even now I still question God whenever he calls me to take certain steps of faith. The uncomfortable fear of feeling awkward always creeps into my heart. Feelings of inadequacies and doubts of my abilities permeate through out my thought life. So many times I forget about the superposition of justification by faith over justification by works.

One way fear manifests itself in my life occurs through God's calling to evangelise. While walking to class, I see the countless lost souls on campus. Yet, I wonder why I do not take more action to save them from enimient death. Why am I so complacent and fear stricken? Still, he calls everyone to spread out and continually share about God's glory. Believe me. I am awkward in many ways. Yet God calls me to readily share despite my introverted nature. Why? Because God delights in steps of faith. Through this realization, my entire perspective on life changes. I begin to understand that every moment of my being and every thread of my life-long progression leads to a fuller reliance and dependance on God. Taking steps of faith into areas of weakness and uncomfortable refinement force me to realize my inadequacy and acknowledge God's complete transformative power. I do not take action because I am in control, rather, due to the fact that God is.

Eventually, as I am able to take greater steps of faith, God transforms and develops my weaknesses into strengths and tools. One example is prayer. I remember this one person in my small group who at first, did not have any practice in corporate prayer. However, as he took more steps of faith, God began to develop his words and thoughts. His prayer began to vastly mature. God also uses steps of faith to humble my pride and even redirect me to areas of my strengths, allowing others to fill in for my shortfall.

Man, staying comfortable is so easy to do. I am a creature of selfish complacency. I tend to gravitate towards living life in my own isolated bubble. So many times I base my actions on me and what benefits me. When, in actuality, life is all about God. Even the prospect of being willing to be uncomfortable brings about fear. However, I pray and praise God for his transformative work.

Dying for Christ

For the longest time I questioned whether I would be able to die for Christ. You hear about Christians paying the ultimate price. I wondered whether under the most torturous instances I would deny my LORD. I struggled a great deal during senior year of high school with that issue. I questioned the authenticity of my faith and God. My mind sunk into a pit of doubt and despair.

Then God answered ...

The real hard question was not: are you able to die for God. Instead, the truly challenging question that I was not asking was: are you willing to live for God. Dying for God is easy once you realize what lies beyond the grave. Living for Christ, on the other hand, through the most heavy of suffering is the real challenge. I questioned whether I was willing to travel to some far off country to die for God. However, God showed me that I was not even willing to proclaim the message of Christ to those around me during the everyday mundane of life. O, how I forget that the abundant life is manifested in the everyday of life. The kingdom of God is manifested through the daily grind and endurance of life. I do not want to sound too judgmental, but the suicide bombers have a skewed perspective on devotion. Devotion to God is not proven through the taking of ones life for a cause. Instead, devotion is exemplified through the patient and sometimes painful living of one's life for God.
Jesus does not only call us to die. He calls us to die, then to live for him. I wonder what I am doing to live for God's kingdom.

Wow, think about how I so dearly cling to the temporary life of this world. God, work out your convictions in my life.

Words

Over winter break, the word redemption was used. Particularly in the context of a kinsmen redeemer exemplified through the relationship between Boaz and Ruth. While we were sharing about instances of God's redemptive work in our lives, I realized that I do not really know what that word even means. In fact, God convicted me of my ignorant use of 'Christian' catch phrases. I have my conceptions of certain words and their meanings, however, do I really know what God intended when he placed them in the Bible? Honestly, there probably exists some linguistic school of thought that has some explanation or theory explaining the formation of meaning behind words. Probably goes along the lines about how the exact same word can have different meanings to different people. So, here is what redemption means to me. Basically, I have broken redemption into three categories of meaning: Representation, Ransom, and Restoration.

Representation.
The redeemer acts as a representative for a person who otherwise would be helpless.

Basically, the Old testament function of a kinsman redeemer was to free a relative from slavery, enact justice to a crime committed on that relative, or provide protection to the dead relative's wife. Basically, one aspect of the redemptive process is to guarantee the rights of an individual who, otherwise, had no power to claim their rights by themselves. This aspect of redemption was an obligation that God commanded the people of Israel to exhibit. In other words, acting as a redemptive representative is our responsibility as part of the body of Christ. Redemption is a call of duty. Redemption happens when individuals stand-up for the rights of marginalized individuals in society. Redemption also happens when judges promote due justice in the courts. They are acting as redeemers for the victims who otherwise would be helpless to enact justice. On a similar note, lawyers act as redeemers to innocent individuals who know not their legal rights in the court system.
In many ways, God is the ultimate redeemer. He acts as the fair judge who enacts ultimate justice on sins in due process. God also acts as an advocate. Jesus acts as our representative who has full natures of both God and man. He not only knows the full character of God, Jesus also knows the full character of human nature. He is the one that bridges the gap between Man and the creator, and stands as a our legal consul in the courtroom of God's throne. The Holy Spirit also acts as an intercessor between God and Man. In many ways, God's redemptive process occurs when God does something in our life that we alone could never do.

Ransom.
The redeemer pays a ransom in exchange for a person who otherwise has no means to pay.

The act of redemption is not cheap. The kinsmen redeemer must buy the freedom of his relative or risk pain and suffering in order to redeem that relative. In other words, the redemptive process is an exchange. The redeemer must give something in order to get something back, and what they get may not even be comparable in value to the thing they exchanged. This exchange may come in the form of money, time, trust, and effort. Individuals must exchange money to redeem a hostage. A spouse must invest loads of time and energy into their counter-parts to redeem them from countless times of unfaithfulness and failure. Likewise, parents exchange loads of time and trust to redeem a child from disobedience.
The most obvious example of God paying a redemptive ransom appears through the payment of Jesus Christ. Jesus gave up everything in order to act as a ransom for us. We were under the bondage of sin and God's judgment hung over our heads. There was no means for paying our own way out. Jesus, acting as the ransom, set us free by shamefully hanging on a tree. There exists no greater redemption than that of Christ's ransom. God's redemptive work also happens everyday. Just like a husband or wife to an unfaithful spouse or a parent to a disobedient child, God patiently invests time, love, and trust into a constantly unfaithful creation. God graciously withholds his demand for judgment on our sinful deeds so that those who are perishing may be saved. Admittedly, thinking of an infinite God having to sacrifice anything is quite hard to grasp. However, an infinite God has an infinite desire for justice, imagine how hard holding back infinite justice would be. This is not to say that God has struggles with his own nature. Instead, I believe that God makes sacrifices (I do not even really know what this word means) for his own beloved children everyday.

Restoration.
The redeemer restores a person's value and true worth.

Ultimately, redemption is a change of status. Whether from slave to free, widow to wife, victimized to empowered, redemption is a restoration to an initial state. This restoration occurs through representative and costly redemption.

An analogy would be that of an old beat up copper pitcher one would find in an antique store. The pitcher has long gone unused, crusted over, dull, and dented. Well, a certain person finds this old pitcher, closely inspects the find, and decides to purchase the beat up old thing. He smoothes out the dents, polishes the metal to a bright glistening glow and proudly displays the pitcher during his many dinner parties. He serves lemonade with the pitcher and places this precious work of art as a centerpiece to everything else on the table. He tenderly cleans the restored and beautiful pitcher and stores it in a china cabinet. God restores our old beat up, sinful selves into a precious, clean self. This self is the way God originally intended us to be. This self is the true worth that God sees in us through our blemishes.

In the beginning, God created man and woman and declared his creation good. He placed intrinsic value to his precious creation. However, after the fall, we became dull, dented, and crusted over. We depreciated our worth and became as useless as garbage. God saw past our sins and flaws. He redeems us through his son, Jesus Christ, to restore value, worth, and functionality. Everyday is a process of restoration; everyday we are redeemed and called to redeem others.

God stands as our advocate, our ransom, and our restoration. He stands as our redeemer. Hopefully, I will realize and take notice of God's constant redemption and be His vessel of redemption for other people.

Life, Love, and Lust

Recently, one thing that has plagued my mind was the thought of relationships with the opposite sex. I believe that in this culture of male-female interactions, God gets lost in the emotional ebb and flow of the stormy waves of our minds. Unfortunately, over the past weeks and even now, my mind seems to be constantly occupied by thoughts and feelings that I cannot quite explain. God, however, in his infinite wisdom, has taught me some lessons and has convicted my soul in many ways.

One question that seems to constantly weigh on my soul is the issue of distinguishing between actual God-given attraction or merely the unrestrained lustful desires of my heart. Honestly and quite sinfully in many aspects, I find myself given over to many short-lived periods of infatuation. This type of seemingly innocent feelings of attraction easily lead to the defiling of the thought life. This defilement, I find, is not only manifested in lustful, sexual thoughts, but lustful, non-sexual thoughts . I think males and females generally struggle differently. That being more for males dealing with the first issue and more for females with the second issue. That being said, I struggle with both issues and my failings are not limited to just one. The first one is a more obvious and apparent violation of God's moral law. In many ways, lust is taking the other person against their will and committing acts of sexual perversion in the mind. Sounds kinda like rape. Sounds kinda extreme. However, remember where sin starts. That's right, the thought life. To think that anyone that has thought impurely about someone has, in effect, committed mental rape. Lust not only effects the person committing the sin and the person sinned against, lust stretches far greater than that. Imagine how disrespectful this is for the future husband of this future wife or again the heavenly Father of this precious daughter. Many times, I do not realize the sheer gravity of lustful thought and the abomination lust is to God.

What about the second issue, dealing with infatuation. What about thoughts of having a romantic, non-sexual interaction with that person. This type of lust comes in a more subtle form because of its non-explicit guises. One might think that just because their thoughts are not sexual, they are not committing sin. What could possibly be wrong with thoughts of being wooed or wooing someone else. The thought of being cherished and cherishing another is - in itself - not sinful. However, problems start to arise when this type of longing supersedes our love for God. Not only does this distract our minds from Christ, I find that this alters our motivations, desires, thoughts, and wants away from Christ. Eventually, our fulfillment and happiness no longer depends on Christ, but that person becomes the center of our focus. Only Christ can fill the empty void for companionship. Christ is our first love. During the past few weeks, I found myself preoccupied with other things rather than God. Jesus is the only completely fulfilling thing in my life, he is the only perfect lover and cherisher of my soul. God really convicted me that I should be cherishing God and seeking after the adoration of Christ and not that of a person.

This may sound kind of weird, especially coming from a guy, but God really showed me that a truly perfect relationship only comes through Christ. I so easily become infatuated with people I hardly know, but how often am I infatuated with God. Do I long to be in his presence, to be held under his protective care. Do I freely share the most intimate secrets with my God. Am I willing to sacrifice life and ambition to please the one and only God Almighty. When I think about God, does my heart flutter and my soul blush. Honestly, I hardly have such heart-felt infatuation for God.

At IV Winter Retreat, the message was on the story of Ruth. The story of Ruth is a tender tale of devotion, love, and redemption. (Ruth). Basically, I realized that the interaction between Ruth and Boaz parallels the interaction between God and his followers. Jesus is the true kinsman redeemer; Jesus is the true lover of my soul; and Jesus exemplifies true steadfast-love in his covenant relationship.

God has also taught me that a wife is a gift from God. I neither deserve nor am able to earn a companion. You might be thinking, so you basically are going to sit around and pray that God plops a wife down in front of you. No. I think that this is a good mind set in not being anxious about the future and to truely cherish something that God so graciously gives and does not give. Honestly, I still do not know the clear distinction between attraction and lust, and I struggle with them all the time. Trusting in God is hard to do. Letting go of envy, jealousy, and selfishness is hard to do. Giving to God someone you cherish is hard to do. In the end, even your "soulmate" belongs to God. To demand that someone love you more than God is not love. True love is exemplified when one offers the things that they most cherish to God. However, I certainly do not think that feelings should be denied nor sins hidden. I have resolved to honestly present them to God and wait for him to answer me.