Imagine being in heaven. You are surrounded by the comforting warmth of God's glory. Standing in the loving presence of the Father, you have witnessed the awesome formation of the world. You have seen and heard the thunderous roar of angels as they worship God almighty. God the Father stands by your side as a loving father. There is no pain, no sin, no struggles. The light of God's glory provides eternal sunshine as far as the eye can see. You are as close to God the Father as anything can possibly be.
"1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was in the beginning with God. 3 All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. 4 In him was life, and the life was the light of men. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."
Imagine coming to earth. A place of darkness. Cold, cruel and full of sin. Imagine coming down and giving abundant love to the people you call your own. Offering your unconditional love to mothers, fathers, children, and those you call friends. I knew you before you were born. I formed you in your mother's womb. Imagine coming down with love, but only receiving rejection and hatred. Bringing light to the world, but the world rejecting you. Offering eternal life to those that you love, but instead of acceptance, they flog you and nail you to a tree. They spit on you, curse you, and mock you as you hang shamefully on a cross. All you brought was love, but they killed you as a fool.
"9 The true light, which enlightens everyone, was coming into the world. 10 He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him. 11 He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. 12 But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, 13 who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God. "
This, my friends, is what Jesus did for us. This is the extent of his love. Leaving the very presence of God the Father and coming to a cold, dark place. He knew that he was going to get rejected by those he called his own, killed, and given on to the full wrath of God's justice. Who in there right minds would do that? Only a loving God. This is the love of Christ, that one should forfeit everything for the sake of those they love. We, those that Christ loved, killed our beloved savior on that cross. Our hatred and pride were the nails that pierced the hands and feet of our beloved Lord. We are guilty, but God paid the price.
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Sex, sin, and gifts.
James 1: 13-17
13 Let no one say when he is tempted, I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. 14 But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. 15 Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. 16 Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. 17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.
Wow. Verse 15, really gripped my heart when I read the passage. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.
Noticed that the word conceived is used here. I was like wow, this thing is pretty serious. When I read the word conceived, I thought of the process of forming human life. I know that most of us have been through Health class. This process of conception involves the union of a male and female. Not only does this give a deeper perspective on sin, but on sex as well. That's right, I said the word. I truly believe that sex models our intimate relationship with God. Do not get me wrong, I am just as guilty to cheapening the sacred nature of sex/relationships countless times through my actions and thoughts. Sex is not some physical action nor merely a means for increasing population. We are talking about a physical symbol of God'intimacy with his creation. A sacred unity between God and his church; the Holy Spirit and the believer. I consider sex similar to communion or baptism in the aspect that they are physical representations that symbolize a deeper, more spiritual phenomena of God. This is why God so values the institution of marriage, because marriag symbolizes God's covenant with his church. Do not get me wrong, sex within marriage is only a human symbol that merely represents greater things that God offers. As a result, my heart grieves everytime I think about the times I have cheapen and distorted such a precious and good gift from God.
This passage also reveals the shear violation of God when I give into my evil desires. Think about this for a moment. We as Christians are unified with Christ. We have this unique and intimate relationship with him. However, when I give into my desires, I take part in conceiving sin. I become unfaithful to God and essentially I have 'sex' with my evil desires. Man, sounds pretty reprehensible. Throwing away the intimate, loving union with God and pursuing my sinful desire.
But wait. There is more. Sin does not stop at the moment of conception. Instead, as you read the passage, sin grows. Like a tree, sin starts to become a bigger part of our lives. Finally, at full bloom, sin yields death. So, I guess sin is more serious than I thought.
For further reference, read the OT book of Hosea in NLT. Quite a fascinating read.
I also love the second part of the passage. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above ... This passage has made me so much more thankful. The warm sunshine? Thank God. The refreshing rain? Thank God. The delicious candy bar? Thank God. Humbling to realize that everything from a job to good grades is a gift from God. We earn nothing. Praise him. Thank you, Father God, for the good and perfect gift of your son, Jesus Christ.
13 Let no one say when he is tempted, I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. 14 But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. 15 Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. 16 Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. 17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.
Wow. Verse 15, really gripped my heart when I read the passage. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.
Noticed that the word conceived is used here. I was like wow, this thing is pretty serious. When I read the word conceived, I thought of the process of forming human life. I know that most of us have been through Health class. This process of conception involves the union of a male and female. Not only does this give a deeper perspective on sin, but on sex as well. That's right, I said the word. I truly believe that sex models our intimate relationship with God. Do not get me wrong, I am just as guilty to cheapening the sacred nature of sex/relationships countless times through my actions and thoughts. Sex is not some physical action nor merely a means for increasing population. We are talking about a physical symbol of God'intimacy with his creation. A sacred unity between God and his church; the Holy Spirit and the believer. I consider sex similar to communion or baptism in the aspect that they are physical representations that symbolize a deeper, more spiritual phenomena of God. This is why God so values the institution of marriage, because marriag symbolizes God's covenant with his church. Do not get me wrong, sex within marriage is only a human symbol that merely represents greater things that God offers. As a result, my heart grieves everytime I think about the times I have cheapen and distorted such a precious and good gift from God.
This passage also reveals the shear violation of God when I give into my evil desires. Think about this for a moment. We as Christians are unified with Christ. We have this unique and intimate relationship with him. However, when I give into my desires, I take part in conceiving sin. I become unfaithful to God and essentially I have 'sex' with my evil desires. Man, sounds pretty reprehensible. Throwing away the intimate, loving union with God and pursuing my sinful desire.
But wait. There is more. Sin does not stop at the moment of conception. Instead, as you read the passage, sin grows. Like a tree, sin starts to become a bigger part of our lives. Finally, at full bloom, sin yields death. So, I guess sin is more serious than I thought.
For further reference, read the OT book of Hosea in NLT. Quite a fascinating read.
I also love the second part of the passage. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above ... This passage has made me so much more thankful. The warm sunshine? Thank God. The refreshing rain? Thank God. The delicious candy bar? Thank God. Humbling to realize that everything from a job to good grades is a gift from God. We earn nothing. Praise him. Thank you, Father God, for the good and perfect gift of your son, Jesus Christ.
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Without a doubt, stressed out.
The first two days of school have been somewhat stressful. I have discovered that I invest a lot into a project. Just with stepping into the emcee role at IV, I have found that I really worry quite a bit. The main issue does not really pertain to the amount of time I spend as opposed to my entire thought process going into planning for such things. When one's thoughts become consumed, their time soon follows. The main difficulty I have comes from the pressure of living up to the responsibilities that other people and God set before me. For example, what if I am not able to be as effective an emcee as those before me. An analogy that might make things more clear:
Let's say I am building a bird house (do not ask me how I thought of that). And when the bird house is complete, I am going to give the house to God as a gift. Do you realize that no matter how perfect I make the bird house, that gift will be a pile of crap compared to the majestic glory of God. Falling along the lines of emcee, no matter how funny or coherent I speak, my role of emcee is a load of crap compared to the majestic glory of God. I feel that no matter how good - or bad - I do as emcee, I will not be able to live up fully to the expectations of IV, other people, and in some ways to God. All in all, the fear of failing at my responsibility to the chapter and the people in the chapter plagues my soul. If you think about my apprehensions, many facets of my feelings are sinful.
I think the barrage of do-this and do-that have burdened me greatly. Do not get me wrong, this advice is valued, but sometimes I do not realize that failure is perfectly fine. I do not realize that occasionally saying something awkward or out of place is fine. Occasionally, forgetting to say something is fine. I have placed this burden of perfection around my neck and this weight drags me down.
Sin 1: Trying to work myself toward perfection.
Consequence: Stress.
Get a load of this cool passage:
Micah 6:6-8
6 “With what shall I come before the Lord,
and bow myself before God on high?
Shall I come before him with burnt offerings,
with calves a year old?
7 Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams,
with ten thousands of rivers of oil?
Shall I give my firstborn for my transgression,
the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?”
8 He has told you, O man, what is good;
and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God?
Wow. This totally blows away my perception of the things God really finds pleasure in. I was foolish to think that being funny, being profound, or saying mellifluous words was pleasing to God. Be just, love kindness, and walk humbly with God. The truth of the matter is that the bird house is, in fact, just a bunch of crap. Stop building the bird house by yourself. Come here, and let us be with each other and build the house together. I do not care if the house is slanted, I just want to have fun with you.
Sin 2: Trying to earn God's pleasure.
Consequence: Feeling like a failure.
Wow. I feel a lot better... =)
Let's say I am building a bird house (do not ask me how I thought of that). And when the bird house is complete, I am going to give the house to God as a gift. Do you realize that no matter how perfect I make the bird house, that gift will be a pile of crap compared to the majestic glory of God. Falling along the lines of emcee, no matter how funny or coherent I speak, my role of emcee is a load of crap compared to the majestic glory of God. I feel that no matter how good - or bad - I do as emcee, I will not be able to live up fully to the expectations of IV, other people, and in some ways to God. All in all, the fear of failing at my responsibility to the chapter and the people in the chapter plagues my soul. If you think about my apprehensions, many facets of my feelings are sinful.
I think the barrage of do-this and do-that have burdened me greatly. Do not get me wrong, this advice is valued, but sometimes I do not realize that failure is perfectly fine. I do not realize that occasionally saying something awkward or out of place is fine. Occasionally, forgetting to say something is fine. I have placed this burden of perfection around my neck and this weight drags me down.
Sin 1: Trying to work myself toward perfection.
Consequence: Stress.
Get a load of this cool passage:
Micah 6:6-8
6 “With what shall I come before the Lord,
and bow myself before God on high?
Shall I come before him with burnt offerings,
with calves a year old?
7 Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams,
with ten thousands of rivers of oil?
Shall I give my firstborn for my transgression,
the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?”
8 He has told you, O man, what is good;
and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God?
Wow. This totally blows away my perception of the things God really finds pleasure in. I was foolish to think that being funny, being profound, or saying mellifluous words was pleasing to God. Be just, love kindness, and walk humbly with God. The truth of the matter is that the bird house is, in fact, just a bunch of crap. Stop building the bird house by yourself. Come here, and let us be with each other and build the house together. I do not care if the house is slanted, I just want to have fun with you.
Sin 2: Trying to earn God's pleasure.
Consequence: Feeling like a failure.
Wow. I feel a lot better... =)
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Dreams and a Spanking New Bible!
Last night, I dreamt that I was enthusiastically quoting the Word of God. However, my enthusiasm was insincere. Behind such passionate and mellifluous rhetoric were devious motives. I was citing the Word of God not to promote God, but myself. I was bringing glory and acclaim to myself by deceiving the hearts of others. My external guise of godliness hid my inner motive of fulfilling my own agendas. As I was speaking, a force nudged me from behind and startled me. Who else caused this nudge then God. Immediately, my soul was convicted and exposed to this insincere abuse of God's word. There was no excuse for what I was doing.
By this time, I was startle from my slumber. Surprisingly, I did not wake to a wrathful and frightening feeling of condemnation. Instead, permeating the darkness was the presence of a disciplining father, full of love and convicting truth. That night, God convicted me of a grave sin. I am seeking to win the hearts of the people and not after the heart of my Lord and king. As a result of desiring earthly accolades, I have forfeited all my heavenly treasures. This profound dream made me wonder about how I have been insincere.
The most apparent area is my prayers. More specifically, public prayer. So many times I long to sound godly and spirit filled. I long to win the approval of human ears, desiring for them to think highly of my "godliness". What may be sweet sounding words to the ears of men, is a rotting stench to the Lord. The Lord is pleased by sincere and honest prayers. Praise be to God for humbling the prideful and embracing the meek! Luke 18:9-14.
A side note:
I purchased a new bible today. The version is ESV (English Standard Version). Basically, this translation tries to follow the original Hebrew and Greek word for word. The translators only changed word order to allow for clarity of reading. This translation reads unlike NLT - the Bible I usually use - which is a meaning to meaning translation. The Bible spectrum falls somewhat like this:
Literal word for word: NKJV, ESV, NASB.
Somewhere in the middle: NIV.
Thought for Thought: NLT, the Message.
(By the way, our family has as much bibles as we have televisions and computers. We have at least one of every version listed above. Not suggesting we are pious, because quite frankly, we are far from that. In fact, the reason my Bible seems worn out is not because of over-use, but due to over-abuse. The Bible is a two-edged sword - quite literally)!
A new bible is kinda like a new car or a new toy. At first, even though the words are the same, the Bible seems to be that much more exciting. However, after reading for an extended period of time, your eyes start to hurt. Then your head hurts. Then the Bible does not seem so flashy anymore. Blemishes start to appear out of no where and you look over to your neighbor's Bible with the annotations and passage references. Momma mia, you think, time to get a new Bible. This happened to me after the first 12 hours of getting my ESV. However, I cherish the compact nature of the Bible even though the font is extremely small. (Now, I can sneak my ESV to class and start reading when the professor gets too boring, jk).
This brings up another issue. When you are the second youngest of four boys, everything you get is passed down. This passing down not only occurs with clothes, but with Bibles as well. Seems like almost all the Bibles I have owned were previously used by my brothers. The NLT used to be my oldest brother's. An NIV (until I lost it) used to be my bother's. The ESV I was using, I stole from my younger brother. Well, now I have one of my own ... I think I might sleep with it cuddled in my arms tonight. Man, this is getting to my head!
By this time, I was startle from my slumber. Surprisingly, I did not wake to a wrathful and frightening feeling of condemnation. Instead, permeating the darkness was the presence of a disciplining father, full of love and convicting truth. That night, God convicted me of a grave sin. I am seeking to win the hearts of the people and not after the heart of my Lord and king. As a result of desiring earthly accolades, I have forfeited all my heavenly treasures. This profound dream made me wonder about how I have been insincere.
The most apparent area is my prayers. More specifically, public prayer. So many times I long to sound godly and spirit filled. I long to win the approval of human ears, desiring for them to think highly of my "godliness". What may be sweet sounding words to the ears of men, is a rotting stench to the Lord. The Lord is pleased by sincere and honest prayers. Praise be to God for humbling the prideful and embracing the meek! Luke 18:9-14.
A side note:
I purchased a new bible today. The version is ESV (English Standard Version). Basically, this translation tries to follow the original Hebrew and Greek word for word. The translators only changed word order to allow for clarity of reading. This translation reads unlike NLT - the Bible I usually use - which is a meaning to meaning translation. The Bible spectrum falls somewhat like this:
Literal word for word: NKJV, ESV, NASB.
Somewhere in the middle: NIV.
Thought for Thought: NLT, the Message.
(By the way, our family has as much bibles as we have televisions and computers. We have at least one of every version listed above. Not suggesting we are pious, because quite frankly, we are far from that. In fact, the reason my Bible seems worn out is not because of over-use, but due to over-abuse. The Bible is a two-edged sword - quite literally)!
A new bible is kinda like a new car or a new toy. At first, even though the words are the same, the Bible seems to be that much more exciting. However, after reading for an extended period of time, your eyes start to hurt. Then your head hurts. Then the Bible does not seem so flashy anymore. Blemishes start to appear out of no where and you look over to your neighbor's Bible with the annotations and passage references. Momma mia, you think, time to get a new Bible. This happened to me after the first 12 hours of getting my ESV. However, I cherish the compact nature of the Bible even though the font is extremely small. (Now, I can sneak my ESV to class and start reading when the professor gets too boring, jk).
This brings up another issue. When you are the second youngest of four boys, everything you get is passed down. This passing down not only occurs with clothes, but with Bibles as well. Seems like almost all the Bibles I have owned were previously used by my brothers. The NLT used to be my oldest brother's. An NIV (until I lost it) used to be my bother's. The ESV I was using, I stole from my younger brother. Well, now I have one of my own ... I think I might sleep with it cuddled in my arms tonight. Man, this is getting to my head!
Monday, January 09, 2006
Pitfalls of Worship
Common pitfalls:
1. Expecting God to pour out his spirit when we want to.
We seek God on Sunday, but live godless lives on the weekday. I found that this applied to me especially during high school. The entire environment and compartmentalizing of life especially during the high school years wears spiritual vitality thin . Imagine a boat tossed back and forth on the waves or a wire bent every which way. Such stresses cause much damage on the boat or wire. I believe that our impulsive relationship with God causes undue stresses to our spiritual life. How can I expect to meet God for an hour on Sunday when I shut him out the rest of the week?
2. Thinking that we deserve God.
Many times when I worship, I think that God must pour his spirit out on his people. Even more provocative, I falsely believe that God has an obligation to love his people. God is God! He has the authority and the justification to cherish his creations or toss them out with Monday's trash. God can do whatever he pleases even if we have qualms about his decisions. Only by his grace, God chooses to love his rebellious creation, humankind. Only by his grace, God allows us to come before him and worship. Only by his grace, God finds pleasure in the worship of fallen and sinful mortals.
3. Being ungrateful.
This ties in with pitfall number two. As a result of my unholy attitude toward God, I become ungrateful when my worship experience is not all that I think it should be. A remarkable thing happens when we thank God for the pleasure of worshiping him even though we do not have that awe-inspiring experience during worship. Because worship is a gift so graciously given by God, I have the obligation to be grateful in dry and abundant times of God's spirit.
4. Worship is about me, me, and me!
So many times when I worship God I actually worship myself. I expect God to move my spirit. God, do this and do that. God, I promise to do this and do that. So many times I forget that worship is about God. All too often I long for an emotional high instead of the sincere worship of God almighty. I utter words that flow meaningless out of my mouth rather than having a heartfelt conviction. Promises are not sincere, false humility hides hidden pride in my heart. May God strip me naked, so that all I have to offer are my sins and failings. You oh Lord are worthy of glory and honor and power. For you created all things and for your pleasure all things exist and were created.
Read this (this passage rocked my socks!):
Revelations 5: Worship of the Lamb
1. Expecting God to pour out his spirit when we want to.
We seek God on Sunday, but live godless lives on the weekday. I found that this applied to me especially during high school. The entire environment and compartmentalizing of life especially during the high school years wears spiritual vitality thin . Imagine a boat tossed back and forth on the waves or a wire bent every which way. Such stresses cause much damage on the boat or wire. I believe that our impulsive relationship with God causes undue stresses to our spiritual life. How can I expect to meet God for an hour on Sunday when I shut him out the rest of the week?
2. Thinking that we deserve God.
Many times when I worship, I think that God must pour his spirit out on his people. Even more provocative, I falsely believe that God has an obligation to love his people. God is God! He has the authority and the justification to cherish his creations or toss them out with Monday's trash. God can do whatever he pleases even if we have qualms about his decisions. Only by his grace, God chooses to love his rebellious creation, humankind. Only by his grace, God allows us to come before him and worship. Only by his grace, God finds pleasure in the worship of fallen and sinful mortals.
3. Being ungrateful.
This ties in with pitfall number two. As a result of my unholy attitude toward God, I become ungrateful when my worship experience is not all that I think it should be. A remarkable thing happens when we thank God for the pleasure of worshiping him even though we do not have that awe-inspiring experience during worship. Because worship is a gift so graciously given by God, I have the obligation to be grateful in dry and abundant times of God's spirit.
4. Worship is about me, me, and me!
So many times when I worship God I actually worship myself. I expect God to move my spirit. God, do this and do that. God, I promise to do this and do that. So many times I forget that worship is about God. All too often I long for an emotional high instead of the sincere worship of God almighty. I utter words that flow meaningless out of my mouth rather than having a heartfelt conviction. Promises are not sincere, false humility hides hidden pride in my heart. May God strip me naked, so that all I have to offer are my sins and failings. You oh Lord are worthy of glory and honor and power. For you created all things and for your pleasure all things exist and were created.
Read this (this passage rocked my socks!):
Revelations 5: Worship of the Lamb
Sunday, January 08, 2006
A Look Back and a Look Ahead
A few days ago I gathered up enough courage to check my final grades for the semester. I must say that God completely carried me through the semester. Starting out the year and realizing that sophomore year is a whole lot harder than freshmen year, I quickly fell behind. A perpetual worried plagued me through out the semester. However, through this experience, God really showed me how to cherish hard work and to cast my anxieties on to him. Life's funny how when we look back on events, we wonder why we did not trust in God more. My GPA dropped a little bit, but oh well. Do not get me wrong, praising God seems easy when you get some decent grades. I certainly wish that God will really be able to humble me so that I can praise him in all situations even over trivial issues like bad grades. Nonetheless, praise God! He sustained me through the semester.
I look forward to next semester. Honestly, I once felt peace about my major, but over the course of winter break, I am not so sure any more... Looking forward to seeing where God will lead me. My schedule is alright. (There should be a 6:00 to 8:00 lab on Wednesday). Hopefully, I will have the discipline to manage my time to serve God more fully.
I am excited and nervous about changing into the role of M.C. for the up coming semester. Excited about the change in responsibility and the opportunity to bring people to God. Nervous about the administrative and organizational responsibilities I will have as M.C. But more importantly, I am nervous about not living up to God's standard for me. Walking in the ways of the Lord is easy before the battle begins. I may talk the talk, but will I truly walk the walk? Will I serve others rather than myself, will I be able to fully step out in faith for God? I will never know until the battle begins. God has equipped me, the time has come to battle test my faith.
I look forward to next semester. Honestly, I once felt peace about my major, but over the course of winter break, I am not so sure any more... Looking forward to seeing where God will lead me. My schedule is alright. (There should be a 6:00 to 8:00 lab on Wednesday). Hopefully, I will have the discipline to manage my time to serve God more fully.
I am excited and nervous about changing into the role of M.C. for the up coming semester. Excited about the change in responsibility and the opportunity to bring people to God. Nervous about the administrative and organizational responsibilities I will have as M.C. But more importantly, I am nervous about not living up to God's standard for me. Walking in the ways of the Lord is easy before the battle begins. I may talk the talk, but will I truly walk the walk? Will I serve others rather than myself, will I be able to fully step out in faith for God? I will never know until the battle begins. God has equipped me, the time has come to battle test my faith.
Saturday, January 07, 2006
IV a Cult?
Just recently I came across www.exjewsforjesus.org. Basically, this website contains many testimonials of people's previous experiences with Jews for Jesus (www.jewsforjesus.org) I have no idea as to whether the Jews for Jesus organization is a legitimate organization or not. However, reading about this has caused me to think about the distinctions between cults and Christian groups on campus. Whenever people hear the word "nondenominational" the word cult somehow comes up. These questions are important to ask. It's probably a good thing to know whether you should be worried the next time Cool Aid is served at an InterVarsity event. Rest assured, IV does not believe in UFO's, extraterrestrial saviors, nor human sacrifice. InterVarsity is clearly outlined at IVCF.org.
To my knowledge InterVarsity (IV) is not some insidious cult that seeks to brainwash weak-minded individuals. I think the main question that needs to be asked is: what is IV all about? Is this organization promoting their members to identify themselves with InterVarsity or with Christ. I certainly hope the answer is the latter and not the former. All I can write about are my experiences and interactions with InterVarsity. Here are five basic issues that I have had to deal with:
1. Promoting Christ, not Christian fellowships.
I remember the beginning of the semester as I set out to invite people to get plugged into an InterVarsity small group. My motivation was not as a recruitment for InterVarsity, but rather as an attempt for individuals to get plugged into some sort of Christian community whether it be CFC or Cru. I truly believe that freshmen students basically splinter off into two different directions when they encounter their new found freedom in the college environment. One leads to a deeper relationship in Christ and the other sadly leads them away from Christ. Starting out the semester, I desired to help guide people into a place that would enable them to develop a vibrant faith. I fondly remember one individual who apologized to me because he decided to commit to going to CFC rather than InterVarsity. On the one hand, I was sad that I could not be more involved in developing his faith with God. However, on the other hand, I was quite glad that he decided to get involved with some sort of Christian community. There was another person who was deciding between IV and Cru. IV wanted him to fill a vital need they had in their organization, however he felt more drawn to Cru's environment. He felt that Cru was a place that could most develop his faith. What was I to tell him? No brainer, join Cru. Wow! Let me tell you. This guy was passionate before, but he is even more on fire to proclaim Jesus to the lost.
In these two cases, the individuals were looking to join a community of Christians. They were already seeking to get plugged into Jesus. And I believe that even if they were to have joined different Christian fellowships, they would still have been blessed. The true question deals with those who are not even seeking Christ at all. Am I promoting InterVarsity or do I want them to establish a relationship with Christ? In the case of those who are not actively seeking community, I believe that I have to take a different approach. Christ is still the central theme, but how can one come into intimate relationship with Jesus with out a structured community to support their growth? By promoting individuals to a structured community of like-minded believers, we are essentially helping people get a more concrete grasp of the character of Jesus. Whenever I invite someone to establish relationships and connections to a group of believers such as InterVarsity, they are not only meeting people, they are meeting the person that these people represent. Why promote people to become so actively involved with InterVarsity? Because a relationship with Jesus is not solely developed through personal revelation. A relationship with Jesus is manifested in relationships with other people.
Honestly, as the semester progressed, I found myself promoting IV this and IV that. What is best for IV on campus? How do I get more people to get plugged into IV? How do I get more people to join IV? And so on and so forth. I started to label Christians according to which group they were affiliated with. We are IV, they are CFC. The real problem was that I down-graded God. I longed for God to work within IV and missed out on God's larger potential to work over the entire campus. Sure, having goals for God to revive his people in InterVarsity is a great goal. But God has greater aspirations. His will is bigger than IV, CFC, Cru, or even all of the fellowships combined.
2. Promoting Church and individual identity
One thing that I recently came to realized is that InterVarsity is not a church. In fact, IV should be a supplement to the church in their responsibilities. Sadly, I promote IV and IV small group so much, I forget to promote the need to join a church body. The church body provides a more solid and trustworthy understanding of God through the guidance of more qualified individuals such as ordained pastors. The church body provides a broader sense of the inter-generational nature of God's kingdom. Old people actually have good things to say. The church body provides things that fellowships cannot such as baptism and Eucharist. Lastly, a church provides people to grow in their relationships with God outside of InterVarsity. Many times I forget that InterVarsity is merely an outlet for people to know Jesus. One thing I love is the fact that there are different people from all walks of life who go to IV. Man, too many times I find myself trying to make people conform to my view of what the "real" Christian walk is like. One thing that God has really convicted me of is the responsibility for me to let God speak to people in the way He feels. We are to sow and harvest. God does the growing.
One thing that really humbled me recently was seeing the way a good friend uses scripture to test everything he believes and hears. His knowledge of God's Word showed just how less I knew about Christianity, and his willingness to test out the statements of speakers with scripture really reminded me of our need to pursue God on our own and not to solely rely on the word of other people. That is one reason I love inductive bible study and manuscript study. These tools really help people come to revelations about God's character on their own.
3. Gut-check our motivations.
This is getting too long. I talked about this already. Next!
4. Loving all people.
Over the course of the semester, many times I looked with disdain on those that choose to skip out on IV events and even non-Christians. This is totally wrong on my part. On the same note, feeling nothing for people who choose to reject what is good for them is also wrong. People have the right to choose life or death, God or themselves. However, we know that Jesus has the longing to gather his people under his protection. We also know that Jesus had such a convicting desire to be in relationship with us that he paid for our sins. Believe it or not, Jesus loved everyone: pharisees, whores, Jews, and gentiles. Anger nor righteous anger is the right response to people who reject who you are and the person you stand for. First, all have rejected Christ. We are no better than others. God alone is justified to have righteous anger on those that have rejected him. Second, our deserved punishment was paid fully by the atoning sacrifice of Christ. Sadness be on those that choose death over life. I pray that God give me a love for all people.
On a side note, there does exist a special love with in the Christian family that non-Christians are not able to experience. Christians have an obligation to love their Christian brothers and sisters in a different light. This kind of love testifies to the fact that only in Christ can one find true love and acceptance. The love that Christ offers is different than one of this world.
5. Clear stance on views especially in leadership.
While I think that InterVarsity should be accepting of all people no matter where they are in life, one crucial factor for any group is to have a strong scripturally based foundation. The leaders have the greatest responsibility to live apparent and God-based lives. That is not to say leaders are perfect and without sin. I believe that they are the ones that should be the most apparent about just how messed up they are. I have realized that the more one realizes how flawed and messed up they are, the more they depend on Christ.
People look to leadership as the representatives for what an organization is all about. Because of this reason, leaders have the responsibility to be convicted and apparent about what they believe. Requiring individuals in the most influential positions to affirm to a scripturally based and God-centered lifestyle prevent the subtle undermining of God's authority. I think that a lot of actual scary mass-suicide cults arise from leaders who live non-apparent, non-biblical lifestyles. Also what I think is really cool is that InterVarsity is run by a collection of staff and students. This collective teamwork helps keep people in check and ultimately, I believe, more focused on Christ and his calling. It is my personal belief that many times we can best discern the voice of God through the collective movement of the Holy Spirit in many people rather than through one.
Through my experiences of leading a small group, hidden sin restricts the full working of God. Satan also utilizes it to undermine my confidence in my relationship with Christ and thus in helping other people. I still deal with a lot of shameful things in my life, but I find that God can even bring about his glorification with once shameful sins. Seriously, hidden sin suppresses God's authority over one's life. I have experienced that especially through the area of sexual struggles and pornography - and I believe that many Christian men struggle with similar things. For a great deal in my life such things were preventing me from fully walking with God. I still struggle, but through confession to God there is so much hope (I will address more on the issue and share God's story of healing later). As I have taken more influential roles, God has really convicted me to surrender all to him. Healing only begins once we expose sin to the light of Jesus Christ. Search deep in your heart and give to God all things. He will heal you.
Well, I have spend up to three hours typing about things that God has been convicting me of and growing me in. Praise be to Christ! Remember that everything I have discussed about InterVarsity is solely based on my own experiences and opinions. All I can say is that InterVarsity has been a crucial place for God to grow and develop. Praise be to Christ and Christ alone!
To my knowledge InterVarsity (IV) is not some insidious cult that seeks to brainwash weak-minded individuals. I think the main question that needs to be asked is: what is IV all about? Is this organization promoting their members to identify themselves with InterVarsity or with Christ. I certainly hope the answer is the latter and not the former. All I can write about are my experiences and interactions with InterVarsity. Here are five basic issues that I have had to deal with:
1. Promoting Christ, not Christian fellowships.
I remember the beginning of the semester as I set out to invite people to get plugged into an InterVarsity small group. My motivation was not as a recruitment for InterVarsity, but rather as an attempt for individuals to get plugged into some sort of Christian community whether it be CFC or Cru. I truly believe that freshmen students basically splinter off into two different directions when they encounter their new found freedom in the college environment. One leads to a deeper relationship in Christ and the other sadly leads them away from Christ. Starting out the semester, I desired to help guide people into a place that would enable them to develop a vibrant faith. I fondly remember one individual who apologized to me because he decided to commit to going to CFC rather than InterVarsity. On the one hand, I was sad that I could not be more involved in developing his faith with God. However, on the other hand, I was quite glad that he decided to get involved with some sort of Christian community. There was another person who was deciding between IV and Cru. IV wanted him to fill a vital need they had in their organization, however he felt more drawn to Cru's environment. He felt that Cru was a place that could most develop his faith. What was I to tell him? No brainer, join Cru. Wow! Let me tell you. This guy was passionate before, but he is even more on fire to proclaim Jesus to the lost.
In these two cases, the individuals were looking to join a community of Christians. They were already seeking to get plugged into Jesus. And I believe that even if they were to have joined different Christian fellowships, they would still have been blessed. The true question deals with those who are not even seeking Christ at all. Am I promoting InterVarsity or do I want them to establish a relationship with Christ? In the case of those who are not actively seeking community, I believe that I have to take a different approach. Christ is still the central theme, but how can one come into intimate relationship with Jesus with out a structured community to support their growth? By promoting individuals to a structured community of like-minded believers, we are essentially helping people get a more concrete grasp of the character of Jesus. Whenever I invite someone to establish relationships and connections to a group of believers such as InterVarsity, they are not only meeting people, they are meeting the person that these people represent. Why promote people to become so actively involved with InterVarsity? Because a relationship with Jesus is not solely developed through personal revelation. A relationship with Jesus is manifested in relationships with other people.
Honestly, as the semester progressed, I found myself promoting IV this and IV that. What is best for IV on campus? How do I get more people to get plugged into IV? How do I get more people to join IV? And so on and so forth. I started to label Christians according to which group they were affiliated with. We are IV, they are CFC. The real problem was that I down-graded God. I longed for God to work within IV and missed out on God's larger potential to work over the entire campus. Sure, having goals for God to revive his people in InterVarsity is a great goal. But God has greater aspirations. His will is bigger than IV, CFC, Cru, or even all of the fellowships combined.
2. Promoting Church and individual identity
One thing that I recently came to realized is that InterVarsity is not a church. In fact, IV should be a supplement to the church in their responsibilities. Sadly, I promote IV and IV small group so much, I forget to promote the need to join a church body. The church body provides a more solid and trustworthy understanding of God through the guidance of more qualified individuals such as ordained pastors. The church body provides a broader sense of the inter-generational nature of God's kingdom. Old people actually have good things to say. The church body provides things that fellowships cannot such as baptism and Eucharist. Lastly, a church provides people to grow in their relationships with God outside of InterVarsity. Many times I forget that InterVarsity is merely an outlet for people to know Jesus. One thing I love is the fact that there are different people from all walks of life who go to IV. Man, too many times I find myself trying to make people conform to my view of what the "real" Christian walk is like. One thing that God has really convicted me of is the responsibility for me to let God speak to people in the way He feels. We are to sow and harvest. God does the growing.
One thing that really humbled me recently was seeing the way a good friend uses scripture to test everything he believes and hears. His knowledge of God's Word showed just how less I knew about Christianity, and his willingness to test out the statements of speakers with scripture really reminded me of our need to pursue God on our own and not to solely rely on the word of other people. That is one reason I love inductive bible study and manuscript study. These tools really help people come to revelations about God's character on their own.
3. Gut-check our motivations.
This is getting too long. I talked about this already. Next!
4. Loving all people.
Over the course of the semester, many times I looked with disdain on those that choose to skip out on IV events and even non-Christians. This is totally wrong on my part. On the same note, feeling nothing for people who choose to reject what is good for them is also wrong. People have the right to choose life or death, God or themselves. However, we know that Jesus has the longing to gather his people under his protection. We also know that Jesus had such a convicting desire to be in relationship with us that he paid for our sins. Believe it or not, Jesus loved everyone: pharisees, whores, Jews, and gentiles. Anger nor righteous anger is the right response to people who reject who you are and the person you stand for. First, all have rejected Christ. We are no better than others. God alone is justified to have righteous anger on those that have rejected him. Second, our deserved punishment was paid fully by the atoning sacrifice of Christ. Sadness be on those that choose death over life. I pray that God give me a love for all people.
On a side note, there does exist a special love with in the Christian family that non-Christians are not able to experience. Christians have an obligation to love their Christian brothers and sisters in a different light. This kind of love testifies to the fact that only in Christ can one find true love and acceptance. The love that Christ offers is different than one of this world.
5. Clear stance on views especially in leadership.
While I think that InterVarsity should be accepting of all people no matter where they are in life, one crucial factor for any group is to have a strong scripturally based foundation. The leaders have the greatest responsibility to live apparent and God-based lives. That is not to say leaders are perfect and without sin. I believe that they are the ones that should be the most apparent about just how messed up they are. I have realized that the more one realizes how flawed and messed up they are, the more they depend on Christ.
People look to leadership as the representatives for what an organization is all about. Because of this reason, leaders have the responsibility to be convicted and apparent about what they believe. Requiring individuals in the most influential positions to affirm to a scripturally based and God-centered lifestyle prevent the subtle undermining of God's authority. I think that a lot of actual scary mass-suicide cults arise from leaders who live non-apparent, non-biblical lifestyles. Also what I think is really cool is that InterVarsity is run by a collection of staff and students. This collective teamwork helps keep people in check and ultimately, I believe, more focused on Christ and his calling. It is my personal belief that many times we can best discern the voice of God through the collective movement of the Holy Spirit in many people rather than through one.
Through my experiences of leading a small group, hidden sin restricts the full working of God. Satan also utilizes it to undermine my confidence in my relationship with Christ and thus in helping other people. I still deal with a lot of shameful things in my life, but I find that God can even bring about his glorification with once shameful sins. Seriously, hidden sin suppresses God's authority over one's life. I have experienced that especially through the area of sexual struggles and pornography - and I believe that many Christian men struggle with similar things. For a great deal in my life such things were preventing me from fully walking with God. I still struggle, but through confession to God there is so much hope (I will address more on the issue and share God's story of healing later). As I have taken more influential roles, God has really convicted me to surrender all to him. Healing only begins once we expose sin to the light of Jesus Christ. Search deep in your heart and give to God all things. He will heal you.
Well, I have spend up to three hours typing about things that God has been convicting me of and growing me in. Praise be to Christ! Remember that everything I have discussed about InterVarsity is solely based on my own experiences and opinions. All I can say is that InterVarsity has been a crucial place for God to grow and develop. Praise be to Christ and Christ alone!
Missed opportunities
Many times during the course of the day, the dry cleaners gets very boring. So during those times I usually try to occupy my time by staring blankly into the air or pondering the meaning of life. Occasionally, I crack open the Bible and read some intriguing story.
Well, the other day while reading the enthralling story of the demise of King Ahab, this random kid comes into the store. To be quite honest, I was a little peeved. Obviously, his only reason for coming into the store was to get a piece of candy that we offer to customers and to assert a little rebellious bravado to his buddy. Sometimes kids just do not know how to respect other people.
So this kid walks in and says, "Hey what are you reading there, A dictionary?"
I curtly respond,"No, I'm reading the Bible." I deliberately annunciated the word Bible so I could sound more self-righteous.
He then starts to guess my name. Kevin, Rob, and so on and so forth until I tell him, with a hint of impatience, my actual name. By this time I could tell that all he wanted was to get his hands on a lollipop. He finally asks me.
Putting on an empty smile, I tell him that he can take one. After which he takes a lollipop and leaves the store. I hoe-humly return to my 'righteous' bible reading like some grumpy old man returning to his television show after yelling at the neighborhood kids to shut up.
Wow. At that moment God really convicted me or my arrogant attitude toward that child. I mean sure that kid was basically just being a brat, but I did not have to be that way to him. Right in that brief interaction of less than five minutes, God offered me an opportunity to share his love and to proclaim his Gospel. What did I do? I missed an opportunity. I threw it away. The lollipop could easily have been related to God's grace. I could have probed him more about his dealings with the Bible. The kid came in seeking a lollipop and that is what he left with. Now, I realize that he could have left with something much more sweeter. Argh.
God has also really convicted me of not viewing everyone with his eyes. During church, the foggy 'righteous' glasses glaze over my vision. However, when in school, driving, or ordering 500 calories of grease at McDonald's my perspective is entirely changed. Do I love the hated, do I have compassion for the despised, do I view females with all purity. To be quite frank, no. I hate, have apathy, and lust much too often. I have ill feelings toward pesky teenagers (even though technically I still am one), I look down upon those teenagers serving me my Big Mac, and I am apathetic toward the spiritual state of the customers that come into the store. I really hope that I may see Christ's love for everyone I interact with. Lord, transform my vision and guard my heart.
This brings up another issue that I have been struggling with through out the semester. The homeless people on Green Street. My attitude towards them is completely wrong and sinful. Many times I wish they were not there. In fact, regrettably, I once took a diverted path so that I would not have to deal with the guilt of passing them by. They are human, they are loved by Christ. My attitude should be with eagerness to proclaim God's love to others so desperately seeking it. I had to lay that out there. I still do not know the best way to addressing this issue, but I know that the response should be out of Christ's love. Throwing money at people is not compassion. Lord, give me compassion, willingness and desire to sacrifice my time to show all people your love.
Well, the other day while reading the enthralling story of the demise of King Ahab, this random kid comes into the store. To be quite honest, I was a little peeved. Obviously, his only reason for coming into the store was to get a piece of candy that we offer to customers and to assert a little rebellious bravado to his buddy. Sometimes kids just do not know how to respect other people.
So this kid walks in and says, "Hey what are you reading there, A dictionary?"
I curtly respond,"No, I'm reading the Bible." I deliberately annunciated the word Bible so I could sound more self-righteous.
He then starts to guess my name. Kevin, Rob, and so on and so forth until I tell him, with a hint of impatience, my actual name. By this time I could tell that all he wanted was to get his hands on a lollipop. He finally asks me.
Putting on an empty smile, I tell him that he can take one. After which he takes a lollipop and leaves the store. I hoe-humly return to my 'righteous' bible reading like some grumpy old man returning to his television show after yelling at the neighborhood kids to shut up.
Wow. At that moment God really convicted me or my arrogant attitude toward that child. I mean sure that kid was basically just being a brat, but I did not have to be that way to him. Right in that brief interaction of less than five minutes, God offered me an opportunity to share his love and to proclaim his Gospel. What did I do? I missed an opportunity. I threw it away. The lollipop could easily have been related to God's grace. I could have probed him more about his dealings with the Bible. The kid came in seeking a lollipop and that is what he left with. Now, I realize that he could have left with something much more sweeter. Argh.
God has also really convicted me of not viewing everyone with his eyes. During church, the foggy 'righteous' glasses glaze over my vision. However, when in school, driving, or ordering 500 calories of grease at McDonald's my perspective is entirely changed. Do I love the hated, do I have compassion for the despised, do I view females with all purity. To be quite frank, no. I hate, have apathy, and lust much too often. I have ill feelings toward pesky teenagers (even though technically I still am one), I look down upon those teenagers serving me my Big Mac, and I am apathetic toward the spiritual state of the customers that come into the store. I really hope that I may see Christ's love for everyone I interact with. Lord, transform my vision and guard my heart.
This brings up another issue that I have been struggling with through out the semester. The homeless people on Green Street. My attitude towards them is completely wrong and sinful. Many times I wish they were not there. In fact, regrettably, I once took a diverted path so that I would not have to deal with the guilt of passing them by. They are human, they are loved by Christ. My attitude should be with eagerness to proclaim God's love to others so desperately seeking it. I had to lay that out there. I still do not know the best way to addressing this issue, but I know that the response should be out of Christ's love. Throwing money at people is not compassion. Lord, give me compassion, willingness and desire to sacrifice my time to show all people your love.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
A New Life
Hello, everyone.
Dongbees. What exactly is dongbees you might ask. Does it strike fear into the hearts of battle-worn warriors? Is it the name of the rarest of flowers on the lushest tropical island in the world? Maybe dongbees is the most repulsive word created by God and unspoken even in the heavenly realms...
No. It's what I call a stinky yet cute basset hound/beagle mix whose three passions in life are eat, sleep, and stink. If you think about it, that's what life is all about. Eat, sleep, and stink. The core foundation of this world is based on the fulfillment of our carnal instincts and desires. We kill, cheat, and backstab so that we may satisfy our animal instincts which, if you think about it, are pretty much equivalent to a dog's. I am no better. In fact, I am most guilty of killing, cheating, and backstabbing just so I can fulfill my hunger for eat, sleep, and stink. The whole of humankind is just one crawling flee-bag of dogs on the prowl for eat, sleep, and stink, and, for the large part, we are ignorant to our state of perverted sickness.
The core to every human being is not goodness nor altruism. No, we are far from that. Everybody, including myself, lives a life based on our rotted insides. We are far beyond corrupt, we are far beyond decaying. We are dead. I have rejected the natural order of the way things were intended to be and have decided to live a life for myself. I will deceive, maim, and kill anyone in my way. I murder, rape, lie, and cheat. I feed the dust off the ground to my children and trampled over the souls of innocent babies.
I am guilty of treason against myself, my fellow man, and God almighty. What punishment is fitting for such a heinous brute as myself? The son of a sinner, the perpetrator of even greater crimes. How shall I be repaid for the wrath I have paid others? There is only one pronouncement fitting for creatures such as I. Death to the fullest extent. Eternal separation from the light. I must be thrown out into the darkness. I must be condemned, alone and cold. I have chosen my punishment, feed me my poison. No more excuses for I am naked in front of my accuser abandoned by those who claimed to be my friends. The Judge's eyes of fiery righteousness pierce the innermost being of my soul. I am guilty. I am worthy of death.
I believe that every single human being born on the face of this planet is born a treasonous criminal condemned to die (questions arise with that statement). While there may be brief instances of hope that break through the immense canopy of sin, the state of every human being is based on selfish ambition. The entropy of the universe is constantly increasing in direct relationship to the decay of the human soul. People are not generally good people. They are corrupt and decaying.
Wow, you might say. This guy is pretty grim, depressing, and - to be quite frank - sick in the mind. What you will eventually discover, I hope, is a new perspective on the workings of the world we live in and the lives we live. I am an optimist, but a true optimist can only see the positives of live after they realize the existence of dark, dirty, and scary places that exist in the world. The darkest, dirtiest, and scariest place being our very soul.
I do not claim to know everything about this world, because, to be honest, I hardly know anything at all. I do not claim to be perfect for I am one of the filthiest people in this world. I do not claim to be deserving of anything for I live one of the most sheltered lives here on this planet. God is still working out his grace through me. I am still flawed, evil, and deserving of death. Nonetheless, Christ has taken the punishment that I so duly deserve and has given me new life. This new life is neither easy nor comfortable. This process from death to life is a transformation processes that God painfully works.
This is my new life...
Dongbees. What exactly is dongbees you might ask. Does it strike fear into the hearts of battle-worn warriors? Is it the name of the rarest of flowers on the lushest tropical island in the world? Maybe dongbees is the most repulsive word created by God and unspoken even in the heavenly realms...
No. It's what I call a stinky yet cute basset hound/beagle mix whose three passions in life are eat, sleep, and stink. If you think about it, that's what life is all about. Eat, sleep, and stink. The core foundation of this world is based on the fulfillment of our carnal instincts and desires. We kill, cheat, and backstab so that we may satisfy our animal instincts which, if you think about it, are pretty much equivalent to a dog's. I am no better. In fact, I am most guilty of killing, cheating, and backstabbing just so I can fulfill my hunger for eat, sleep, and stink. The whole of humankind is just one crawling flee-bag of dogs on the prowl for eat, sleep, and stink, and, for the large part, we are ignorant to our state of perverted sickness.
The core to every human being is not goodness nor altruism. No, we are far from that. Everybody, including myself, lives a life based on our rotted insides. We are far beyond corrupt, we are far beyond decaying. We are dead. I have rejected the natural order of the way things were intended to be and have decided to live a life for myself. I will deceive, maim, and kill anyone in my way. I murder, rape, lie, and cheat. I feed the dust off the ground to my children and trampled over the souls of innocent babies.
I am guilty of treason against myself, my fellow man, and God almighty. What punishment is fitting for such a heinous brute as myself? The son of a sinner, the perpetrator of even greater crimes. How shall I be repaid for the wrath I have paid others? There is only one pronouncement fitting for creatures such as I. Death to the fullest extent. Eternal separation from the light. I must be thrown out into the darkness. I must be condemned, alone and cold. I have chosen my punishment, feed me my poison. No more excuses for I am naked in front of my accuser abandoned by those who claimed to be my friends. The Judge's eyes of fiery righteousness pierce the innermost being of my soul. I am guilty. I am worthy of death.
I believe that every single human being born on the face of this planet is born a treasonous criminal condemned to die (questions arise with that statement). While there may be brief instances of hope that break through the immense canopy of sin, the state of every human being is based on selfish ambition. The entropy of the universe is constantly increasing in direct relationship to the decay of the human soul. People are not generally good people. They are corrupt and decaying.
Wow, you might say. This guy is pretty grim, depressing, and - to be quite frank - sick in the mind. What you will eventually discover, I hope, is a new perspective on the workings of the world we live in and the lives we live. I am an optimist, but a true optimist can only see the positives of live after they realize the existence of dark, dirty, and scary places that exist in the world. The darkest, dirtiest, and scariest place being our very soul.
I do not claim to know everything about this world, because, to be honest, I hardly know anything at all. I do not claim to be perfect for I am one of the filthiest people in this world. I do not claim to be deserving of anything for I live one of the most sheltered lives here on this planet. God is still working out his grace through me. I am still flawed, evil, and deserving of death. Nonetheless, Christ has taken the punishment that I so duly deserve and has given me new life. This new life is neither easy nor comfortable. This process from death to life is a transformation processes that God painfully works.
This is my new life...
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